Chains of Time
by Max Kiel
Summary: What is fake and what is real? In a world that constantly deceives - a childhood friend who has "forgotten", a truth uncovered and a promise remembered - what will become of her as the final seconds count down? Yet, she still continues to feign her smiles... [AU] Fem!Allen Yullen
1. CoT 00: Prologue

** Chains of Time / Toki no Kusari**

**What is fake and what is real? In a world that constantly deceives - a childhood friend who has "forgotten", a truth uncovered and a promise remembered - what will become of her as the final seconds count down? Yet, she still continues to feign her smiles... [AU] Fem!Allen Yullen**  
**Rating: T**  
**Category: Action / Romance / Hurt/Comfort**

**Author's Note: This is my first fanfic. I got the idea for this like a year ago and only had the courage and time to post the story now. I hope you like it! ^^ It's some sort of "reimagining" of DGM but since I do not have the authority to, let's just say that it's a 20th century, scientific, semi-parallel alternate universe of DGM where Allen Walker is a female. :D This prologue has a little bit of angst as it's really a scene somewhere in the middle of the story. It's gonna be confusing for a while. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own -man. It belongs to the very talented Hoshino Katsura. Oh, how I love her art style. ~.~**

**Anyway, like all fanfic authors say, please review! (I've been fantasizing about the day when I would say that. ^.^) Constructive criticism and grammatical corrections are welcome! English is not my native language, but I've been trained to speak the language when I was little. Still, if there are any mistakes please feel free to correct me!**

**And now for the most awaited word...**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 00: Prologue

She was alone. That was clear to her. A clock was ticking, its pendulum swinging, counting down the last minutes of her life. She felt like she was suffocating from everything these last few days. Now, she didn't feel that anymore, or anything for that matter, but something told her she had ran straight into a dead end when she could have taken another path. She sat on the bed, unmoving, just wanting it to get over with. She had refused to eat, fearing that she might spill all her secrets with a secret dose of truth serum mixed along with her food. Or maybe something to wipe her memories? She wanted to laugh, to let go of sanity, to embrace oblivion. Blank eyes, staring at those moving seconds, an endless cycle ran by time. When one of those gears start, it sets motion to others - love and hate, truth and lies, trust and doubt, fear and hatred, joy and sadness, everything. _Who was wrong? Who was right?_ One thing was for sure, though - she can't help but blame herself for that time. Then, she thought she was going to end up in a place like this but she did not. Yet, here she was, seven years later, accused of heresy for a crime she didn't continue, that she should have. It was cruel that she had wrongly assumed the innocent for what had happened and had worked against them. _How ironic. How wonderfully humorous._ It was those very people she had worked for that bound her wrists with handcuffs - the left one with a seal that prevented her from activating her weapon. Regret, frustration, loathing, it was starting to well up inside of her. _I promised!_ She was almost sure it would be broken. Because she had followed her heart everytime. She had come with him. They had tracked them. He died and she worked for them believing they were on the right. Now, she was next in line. Her grey eyes were no longer unfeeling but were bright with the all the emotion threatening to drown her. Love for all those people whom she had left and who had left her. She now realized that she didn't want to die. _I want to live! What made me think that way? I have another promise to fulfill. I promised to live!_ She promised to that person as she was led away. Not with words. They knew each other enough to need that.

However, it was too late. The sound of footsteps coming. She looked up, anticipating the CROW to come, whisking her towards the execution. It was inevitable. She closed her eyes and relived those memories. Anything to escape, to distract her.

_ A bright light. A bandaged head. A sore body. She woke up not knowing she had been chosen as a candidate and had been successfully remodeled. Red - that was to be her name. It will be the color to dye the future ahead of her._

_ Christmas. Faint sounds of carols floating through the air. Snow falling down, the air chilling her to the bone. A dog with a collar came up to her and licked that deformed hand of hers. Fingering the collar, she read the words, "Allen". She removed it from the dog and pocketed it. She never knew she would discard her old name soon after that._

_A child running away in horror. Visions of her dead father were still vivid in her mind's eye. She could no longer breathe and the ground was tilting. She kept on stumbling, her sight being reduced to slits. It's no use, she thought. She fell for one last time and lay still. The gun skidded across the ground from her hand to the feet of another person. A golden golem flew down and sniffed the barrel. It was recently used._

She didn't know that it wasn't time yet. And the person approaching was alone.

As the door opened, she realized that she had decided on escaping all along.

A voice echoed along the stone hallway.

"Have you confessed your sins yet, Ms. Walker?"

How wrong was she to think that it was going to be _that_ easy.

Suddenly, a melody came to her. That which contained both the warmth of dawn and the coldness of dusk. _At a time like this?_, she thought incredulously. Then the realization hit her. _It was something to give her hope, to keep her at peace till she died. _Before, it could have been answer. But knowing how answers lead to only more questions, she just closed her eyes and continued to let the song comfort her.

_ I will still continue to pray…_

...though she knew it would just be better to die. She needed, however, to keep on walking forward.

**A/N: So how was it? Good? Bad? Please say so in the reviews! The next chapter will be slightly longer and somewhat better. :3 To all who would review, I thank you in advance! :) I know, I speak so formally. Guess, I still have to warm up to the world of fanfiction. ^^ Ciao!**

** -Max Kiel**


	2. CoT 01: Meeting an Osananajimi

**Chains of Time / Toki no Kusari**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, and followed this fanfic. Chapter One is coming up (I have, in fact, almost finished Chapter Four on Word... but, I don't want to post it in one go, do I? :P) Please, read, enjoy, and review!**

**A copy-pasted disclaimer: I do not own -man. It belongs to the very talented Hoshino Katsura.**

* * *

**Chapter 01: Meeting an "Osananajimi"**_ "Time had long since been a catalyst for everything."_

_The Black Order. An organization designed to ensure the safety of the Vatican. Several years ago, the late Pope had received threats about a plot to obliterate religion. It was disregarded and was called a hoax. But then, it was confirmed by an anonymous person, who had been part of this movement. It was relayed to the higher-ups by a special correspondent whom he trusted. After that, as if those words were the cue of a grand play, religious leaders started disappearing one by one. It was soon discovered, that those responsible for it were Akuma, transformed human beings whose minds have been altered. A group of scientists then discovered a chemical substance that reacts to mindsets of certain people; there were many various forms but a definite number has yet to be proven. They were hired by the Vatican and the substance was named Innocence after Pope Innocent XX, who was the current leader of the walled city at that time. That started the initiation of the Exorcist program - a special training for people who had passed the selection to be wielders of Innocence and terminators of the Akuma. The Swiss Guards have become obsolete - only used for the most minor of problems. Crow units were dispatched and branches of the agency were placed in different strategic locations. Since then, many had been learned about the enemy - the Noah led by the Millennium Earl._

It was late autumn. A girl named Allen Walker was one of these so-called Exorcists. She is British, has snow white hair and a scar that ran up the left side of her face, ending in a pentacle on her forehead. The scar crossed her left eye which could detect Akuma even before they transform - the reason why she was considered special. She woke up from her daydream and saw the teacher lecturing in front of the class. She was here because she was assigned to gather intel in Japan - searching for the clues that may lead to the current location of the Earl. (It was an inside joke that the reason he's called the "Millennium Earl" was because they had been trying to identify him for about a millennia and failed repeatedly to do so.) _Guess they stationed us here in Tokyo because of the Ark_, she thought idly, knowing that among the three of them, it was only she who knew a whole deal about the place.

The HQ was located at London and for a while, people would pass by the 15-feet gate wondering what the bloody hell the place was for. Those who were old enough remembered it as a small university while the not-so-old regarded it as a parcel of land that could be put to better use than whatever it was being used for. Some said it was a British nuclear facility, while some would tell that it was built by the Christians for the next Crusade they were going to make against the Muslims - glimpses of the uniforms of those who entered and left it were proof enough for the raving lunatics. Even though they provided confusion to further mask their objectives they still directed too much attention to them. Especially in this modern day era. The Order would have fared better in the 19th century. _Not that most who witness an Akuma invasion survive. But their cameras do. _Of course, they had struck up an agreement with most broadcasting agencies not to air such material. But, people also have the internet. Indeed, some had gone so far as to blame them for those attacks.

_Conspiracy theorists_, she mused, _You could love them and hate them both at the same time._

_You could love and hate… both at the same time… _That simple sentence had brought to her mind another topic that she had been dwelling on for the past few was their first time doing this in Asia, the last two years had been devoted to France and Spain… _Somehow, just somehow, she hoped that she would find a certain person here_… It was Japan after all, her thoughts were wandering by now straying to those times. For quite a while, she just stared at the doodle she made. _The summer triangle…_She smiled. It brought back memories…

_She was eating breakfast with the three. Suddenly, the long-haired boy, who apparently finished his meal, stood up, and spoke to her, his eyes darting angrily at the baka usagi, "Let's go stargazing." It clearly was taking all of his willpower to say this. She was taken aback. Though she knew that the ginger forced him last night to do so (on the pretense that he would return the other's Mugen if he didn't), she never thought that he would actually do it. Not wanting to be a killjoy and waste the other's effort. she nodded even if curfew was supposed to be 8:00 pm._

_The cool night breeze embraced them as they sneaked out of the residential building. It was a good thing they brought their coats. The redhead and the girl in the pigtails were laughing with each other, gleeful that they actually made the notoriously cold-hearted Kanda to do this for the newcomer. The white-haired girl just smiled while looking up at the clear sky. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" she asked hoping to be able to strike up a dialogue with the silent one. "Shut up, moyashi." The smaller one glared at him and said "Why do you keep calling me that stupid BaKanda? You've been calling me a beansprout ever since I got here." "Cause you're an annoying short-stack that's why." the other replied with an I-don't-care-about-you demeanor as they proceeded towards the grassy field._

* * *

The bell signaling dismissal rang. She glanced up and saw that the teacher had already left. She frowned. _I forgot to take down notes again… ah, well…, _she thought, stuffing her notebook back to her bag and did her best to hide Tim from had just left the classroom when she heard familiar voices calling her. She turned and saw that it was none other than Lavi and Lenalee, her friends which were also deployed on this mission. Lavi is the successor to the Bookman, recorders of history. He has red hair and an eye-patch over his right eye. His Innocence is a hammer. Lenalee, meanwhile, is the sister of the HQ supervisor, Komui Lee. She is Chinese, has olive green hair, which she ties in pigtails, and is the accommodator of the Dark Boots.

"Why? What is it?", she asked, seeing the excited looks on their faces.

"Brother called", Lenalee started.

"And?"

"You know what he said about sending someone over? We're going to meet him now at the mall."

"Uh-huh." Her heart raced at those words. She was getting her hopes up high again.

"Well, he might seem familiar."

By this time Allen was getting impatient. She just wanted to know. "So who is it?" Her heart was pounding and she was having trouble breathing - just the thought of him...

Lavi said in a playful singsong voice, "A guy named Kanda Yuu is coming over for a visit."

"Wha-?" Allen looked at the two, eyes scrutinizing the pair, looking for evidence that this was just a prank, but from their faces came obvious happiness - that they two were also looking forward to seeing him.

At that point of her conclusion, surprise and disbelief was evident in her eyes. _It's just too good to be true._ "Are you really positive about what you're saying? You better make sure." Her voice was laced with warning especially towards Lavi, who was known for his naughtiness.

"I'm sure it's him!" the red haired man exclaimed indignantly. "Komui sent me his picture - he looks exactly the same!"

The white-haired girl didn't notice how quick her steps became as she headed towards the osananajimi whom she thought she would never see again.

Timcanpy had escaped the confines of Allen's bag and was fluttering around the girl but she was too busy getting to the mall as fast as she can to notice. Her heart was beating fast and she didn't know if it was the excitement, the sudden physical activity, or both. Lenalee grabbed Tim as she passed by. She and Lavi struggled to catch up with Allen, who normally would have stayed at home having politely refused her invitations to shop.

They reached the entrance and Allen asked shortly, "Where?" They pointed towards a location to the distance, panting, and she ran without a word, without even asking them to specify the venue. She looked at the shops as she passed. _Nothing._ She stopped and waited for the other two. "Hey, can't you even let us rest for a minute?", an exhausted rabbit said, trying to regain his breath. "He's over there at the ramen house."

"Sumimasen", she apologized to them, "I just… wanted to…" But, she was cut off… by another voice.

"What were you thinking making me wait, baka moyashi?"

* * *

For a moment, when she heard that sentence, she thought she had a minor heart attack. The exact same tone only he could use… she just heard it… right? Everything seemed to be in slow motion as she spun around to see the person. She swallowed. Dazed, the only thing she could say was, "It's Allen."

She was paralyzed. She wanted so badly to touch him, to make sure he was real, not a hologram or a spirit but a live, breathing human being. But, currently, all she could do was think of something to say while her throat was starting to constrict, and her heart sounded like a drum.

"Oi, how long am I supposed to endure your staring?"

She snapped back to the present and was about to retort angrily, thinking that he hadn't changed his ways - he was still rude.

"Oooh… tempers are running high! You know we should go eat first! We can't exchange pleasantries on an empty stomach!" It was a good thing Lavi was quick at spotting trouble though he did cause his fair share of it himself.

They were seated around the table and were waiting for their orders. The awkwardness was almost visible. Lenalee pretended to be busy with her phone. Lavi was just looking around. Allen was staring into empty space. Minutes passed and they still haven't said anything.

Allen was so fretful that she stopped doing anything all together. She didn't know how to act, what to feel. She let out another breath to calm herself… she almost wanted to cry. She had a good reason to. Having nothing else to do, she looked up - Lenalee had been trying to catch her eye for minutes. Lenalee jerked her heard towards the samurai, telling Allen to strike up a conversation with him. Even though, she tried to do it grudgingly, she couldn't hide the trembling. Allen said to the one beside her, "It's been seven years… why haven't you kept in touch?"

"What seven years?"

"Excuse me?"

"I've never met any of you.", he said it slowly and carefully letting the statement sink into each of them.

This "reunion" had taken an unexpected turn of events, at least, for the other three. They all looked at him in utter astonishment and bewilderment. _How could he not be the one they've been with?_

To his amazement, the youngest of them smirked, "Yuu-kun, you don't know us? Then why did you call me 'moyashi' ?", she was waiting for the answer.

_Shit. I forgot to control himself._ "Che. Because, you look like a beansprout, why else? Don't call me by my first name, we barely got to know each other.", he added, showing complete indifference. They were now glaring at each other; the sparks between them threatening to turn into lightning.

She retaliated calmly trying to smile, "Mmm… I must have made a mistake so I must not know you either then. I think I'd rather eat at home." She stood up, slamming her hand on the table, and left.

Kanda did not answer and kept his face expressionless. He almost felt guilty.

* * *

The sky was turning to its brilliant red-orange hues. She was wandering around trying to find solitude, peace. Her mind was trying to connect the pieces, comprehend what just happened but to no avail. _Who is he then if he's saying the truth? What happened? Didn't he recognize me? Us? Or is he simply not the person I thought he was? _Questions. Questions. And more questions. Frantic thoughts were taunting her, though her expression didn't show much. She wanted answers. Her phone sang out a tune, a bright contrast to her emotions, she answered it.

"Moshi moshi."

"Allen-chan are you alright? We've been waiting for you to get home."

"How did things go?"

"Well… nothing much. We just ate… came back early. It was…" Lenalee couldn't find the words to describe the rendezvous and her voice trailed off. "Are you fine? Where are you?"

"I'm… I don't know… But it's okay… I'm just… taking a stroll. I'll be back in a few minutes"

"Are you sure?"

The worried tone caught Allen's attention. "Yes. Don't worry. I can handle this." She tried to muster some energy. She couldn't help herself, "It's just... it's just unbelievable. Any sign he's just lying? Maybe it was just a joke or something?" Her mouth curved bitterly into a smile, knowing that the man was dead serious.

"We're not sure. He's just so unreadable."

"…Oh…" Melancholy was now reflected in her eyes. "Well, bye."

"Bye…"

Allen put away her phone. She sighed. No matter how much she tried, her thoughts became increasingly redundant each passing second. Knowing how it only weighed down her heart, she put on a smile so she could face what was ahead. She headed home just as the sun began to sink and gave way to the evening.

_Time has gone and still goes so fast._

**A/N: To tell the truth, I actually already planned this whole fic in my head almost from start to finish- All that's left for me is to remember the turn of events as I write, like it actually happened. I also read like that, like I'm watching a movie or something. Weird, neh? Okay, enough about me, please review! :D I'm now going to stop procrastinating and do something productive - like starting my Statistics and Organic Chemistry project so I could spend the weekend reviewing for the upcoming Periodical Exams. Why did all the project deadlines line up in the same week? =_= I take back what I said about having enough time. It's just my sleep-derived brain making me type things at 2 o'clock in the morning. Nevertheless, I will try to update as soon as possible. PM me if you see any mistakes! :)**

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter! ^^ By the way, "osananajimi" means "childhood friend"**

**-Max Kiel**


	3. CoT 02: The Clock Is Set

**Chains of Time / Toki no Kusari**

**A/N: Hi! Another chapter is up and it has action in it. Yay! Actually, I was really looking for an "Action" category when I posted this story. I couldn't so I just chose "Angst" instead. Oh well, enough of the chit-chat. :D I'm looking forward to your reactions, so please read and review! I thank everyone who has reviewed, followed, or has shown support in any way to my story. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM. It belongs to Hoshino Katsura. I love that person so much.**

* * *

**Chapter 02: The Clock Is Set** "The smallest actions could sometimes say the most meaningful words - They were just too distracted to see it. However, they simply can not go unfelt forever."

"So, here are your tickets!", Lavi said cheerfully. He had already paid for them. A minute ago, when they overheard that the two have got a mission together, they had cheerfully forced Kanda to sit in the car and dragged Allen who was still talking to Komui at that time. She had barely snatched up her coat. Lavi drove like a maniac all the way to station.

"Hey, the train's here already!"

Lenalee and Lavi had shoved both of them towards the ticket barrier. As it headed for the city of Edogawa, they shouted "Happy Holiday!" They were determined to reconcile them.

Four hours later, they were walking down the sidewalk in complete silence. Allen's hair was in a ponytail and was tucked beneath her collar, almost giving her the apple bob cut she had when she was younger. They both wore their uniforms and their emblems glinted in the afternoon light. It has been a week since Kanda arrived. They passed several sidestreets. Whenever she sees an alley, she remembers how she met Mana. For a moment, she felt as if someone or something was watching her. She took a good look and saw nothing. She continued and sighed for the hundredth time, checking the map on the phone to see if they were on the right track. She almost always felt like it. He did not yield for the past week and still continued to act as if he did not know her. But, his appearance and the way he continues to obstinately call her "moyashi" - She felt that it was really _him_ who's walking beside him. She sighed again.

At this, her irritated companion asked, "What's your fucking problem?"

She glared at him, then rolled her eyes and said nothing. _Like you don't know._ She continued to walk. She observed a change in the scenery. After a few minutes, she said softly "We're almost there."

Besides the fact that she was with a person she thought she knew, it was this location that made her feel a little bit off. Komui called and told them that she was supposed to go with BaKanda to the "Ark". A chill ran down her spine. _The Ark of all places!_ They received some intel years ago, saying that it seems to be vacated and no longer functional. But that was just observation from the outside. They needed some assurance, solid proof and that was why they were here. The enemy could still be there. _And the moment they come after us, _she thought, _I'm going to kill a certain mad scientist for convincing me that it's completely "safe". He didn't even send a Finder._

_Wow. So its true._ She looked around and saw how unkempt the place looked. _I doubt there's anything to see here anymore._ She passed by what was once a rose garden with a marble fountain as centerpiece. Everything was unlocked - the grand intricately designed gates, and the double entrance doors lined with gold both lay ajar.

They had entered the 19th century mansion, and the furniture was positioned just the way it was before - the thick layer of dust the only reminder of the time that has passed. A sudden vision of the young Allen climbing up the dark staircase, seemed to grip the girl. She closed her eyes. _This was where it all started._

"Stop.", Kanda said quietly, his hand resting on the hilt of his katana.

"Why?" Allen being brought of the past, noticed that there was indeed something amiss. A shadow passed by a window and her eye transformed. She answered her own question. "Akuma."

They ran outside and saw the human bodies turn into demonic machinery. There were only Level 1s - large ball of cannons that fired poisonous bullets - but there was an overwhelmingly large number of them _and _they were surrounded. Their pitiful, grotesque forms were appearing from the gloom. _How come I didn't see any of them? Ah well… No one is around. Good._ she thought. They activated their weapons. They had their backs facing each other. This was it.

"Gyaah!", she uttered a cry as she charged. Her deformed arm changing into a huge claw, she destroyed all the Akuma within reach as Kanda slashed those at her back into two. The monsters started firing at will and they had to separate. They dodged the oncoming bullets and killed the monsters as they passed.

There was smoke all around her. She couldn't see. After a good half-hour of intense fighting, it was safe to say that they had eliminated a considerable amount of the Akuma, souls were vanishing, being freed. Still, they continued to attack relentlessly. She felt something clear the smoke as it flew towards her. _It's too fast -!_

" Tch - !" Pain shot through his abdomen as a sharp blade struck his side. Blood dripped on the withered grass. He made it. If he hadn't, the moyashi would have been hit directly.

"What the - ! Yuu!"

"I told you not to call me that." He said it through gritted teeth. The projectile had dropped to the ground and he used his own hand to staunch the bleeding, holding his sword in the other. "Baka, they're coming."

With this situation, she turned her Innocence into a cannon and fired it in the direction of the demons, her face contorted in anger. _How dare they hurt one of my comrades._ Kanda, meanwhile, assumed his battle stance and continued to slice at their opponents despite the stinging pain of his wound.

"Oi! Don't push yourself!", Allen called to him as their foes screamed, exploding loudly. They were soon becoming no match to their power.

"Che. You think I'd let a scratch like this slow me down?"

As much as she wanted to hit Kanda for such arrogance, she was relieved that he was still fine. She concentrated on getting the job done as fast as possible so she could attend to his injury.

The battle wound down to a stop as they eradicated the last remaining demons. Dusk was again starting to settle in. What was left of the rose bushes and hedges when they arrived was singed if not entirely burned. The swordsman swayed and put his sword back into its sheath. Though he will never admit it, he was worn out by the chaos that had ensued. It could also be attributed to his loss of blood. Allen noticed, her arm and eye back to normal, and put his arm around her shoulders and proceeded to the mansion. Seeing the mouth open in protest, she said, "Don't even think about trying to stand by yourself. It would take us a year to reach the basement alone even without your precious pride." He decided not to argue, with the girl still looking a tad bit too murderous and himself not having the energy to start a fight, and instead asked, "How come you know this place?" She did not answer.

After the endless meandering inside the wide expanse of the interior, they reached a large mural of the harbour which covered an entire wall. She leaned to the left as she reached for a button on the side of its frame. A soft voice said, "Confirmation, please." She hesitated at first. _It's not going to open if you don't do anything. _her mind as if she had done this a thousand times, she responded, "Neah Walker, Fourteenth". The painting slid to reveal a lift. They entered and as it descended, she glanced at the man beside her as if waiting for him to ask her how she could get in. "I'll let it pass.", he muttered, thinking of how Komui seemed confident that the moyashi could do this. But, instead of being relieved, she became worried at how weak his voice sounded.

"Hurry, hurry.", she murmured. She had forgotten how long it took for it to reach the bottom. What with the routine check of their identities through the surveillance camera before they were cleared to enter, she would usually just opt to use the piano to create a "gateway". Doing so, she'd enjoy a bit of scenery on the way instead of standing here waiting. She looked at the cameras. _I wonder if they're still working. Hmm… probably not._

When the elevator doors opened, she walked as hastily as she could with the added weight on her along the hallway towards the nearest door available - the infirmary. The motion-activated lights flickered on. It was a compound of its own, looking like a small hospital. She chose the most accessible ward and entered it. She let Kanda sit on the bed as she rummaged the cabinets for bandages. _Hope they're sterile enough. I don't know how long they've been sitting around here._

She pulled up a stool, in front of the man, and started to unbutton his ruined coat.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he asked as she removed his uniform and started on his blood-drenched shirt.

"Undressing you.", she replied coolly. She caught his look, realized what it must have sounded to him, and shrugged turning red, "I'm available to other options."

"I can do it myself."

Once again, she did not answer and just proceeded to wrap his abdomen with the bandages. _Good thing it wasn't a bullet._ A bullet would have the Akuma blood virus in it and would have reduced him into dust - that was if he was normal, anyway. _But if it wasn't a bullet, then shouldn't there be higher level Akuma in the area?_ The higher the level, the more human they looked but more deadly. _I'll search if this place is clear later._

Such a sticky moment - both literally and figuratively. They both felt ill at ease. She tightened the bandages. _There! Done at last._ She gathered his clothing and told him, "Sleep."

"You can't order me around.", he started, standing up. They glared at each other.

"You're going to sleep whether you want to or - " She paused. This was definitely not the way to get him to rest. She took a deep breath. "Could you sleep? Please?"

"Did I hear right?"

"Yes - Just please." She was throwing her pride away saying this but what could she do? He needed rest and she was desperate that he had it.

"Che." And with that he lay down on the bed. A thought occurred to him. "Aren't you going to sleep?"

"No. I'm going to keep watch. Don't worry."

"Who said I'm worrying?"

She bit her tongue to stop from answering. She felt she should be grateful to him, but, she couldn't bring out the words.

As soon as he was sure he was sleeping, her mind whirred into action._ That sword - I've seen that before. That mark on his chest - I've seen that one too - also the way he seems to be healing. It's him. I knew it's him. But…_

_Here we are again…_ she thought. _Thinking about useless things. _Her stomach growled. She checked her pockets for a packet of biscuits she had brought along and instead found Timcanpy. _I can't believe it. I'm beginning to regret letting him learn the joys of eating._

"Hey, Tim.", she whispered. "Since you've eaten all my food, can you stay here for awhile? I want to check on something."

And as she stood up, she heard the rustle of her soiled coat. She smiled as she removed it, revealing the white long-sleeved shirt she wore beneath. _Well, he could use a pillow._

She arrived at the east wing. She knew every part of this place. Checking the bedrooms she passed, she concluded that the piano was not here anymore. They had obviously taken it to where they had gone off to. _Nothing to do here now, I guess. I won't reach the Ark simply by standing here with no piano. _She had been told that it was only a replica. Just something to get in. Tracing her steps back to the basement, she felt as if the ghosts of her past where whispering in her ear - her mind was reenacting those memories she had wanted to be forgotten. Memories that had lost their quality like a book that has been read long ago and was left in a shelf - only to be remembered when it is read again.

She looked at that mirror in her room as she passed and her reflection stared back at her. In the gloom, she remembered exactly how she felt that day when they turned her into what people perceive as a bakemono - a monster.

* * *

_A young child looking at that gold -framed mirror in utter horror, her face and arm turned into something else. Her chestnut brown hair was no longer so. She crawled back not able to look away from the nightmare that was herself._

* * *

On her way to the living room, she glimpsed the gate from a cracked window.

_"I can't leave you here!"_

_"You have to."_

_She felt something put in her hand and gave the one who did a questioning look._

_"Just in case."_

_Knowing she had no other choice, she looked at them one last time and spoke._

_"I promise I'm going to stop this madness - one way or another."_

_And she ran, the autumn wind howling, going in the same direction as if to hurry her away from what was supposed to become of her if it wasn't for her friends._

_Or those she thought to be friends._

* * *

_We used to play there. _She stared long and hard at the garden - a garden whose flowers had withered and burned. Like what happened to the people whom she had been with, who cared for her, who were no longer here. She turned away and headed back towards the basement, that underground facility that had changed so many lives.

* * *

"Oi, I thought you weren't going to sleep."

Something soft plopped down her head and tumbled to the floor where she was sitting on. "Eh?" Her voice was hoarse from lack of sleep.

She looked at it and saw that it was her coat. Blinking, she heard Kanda say, "Why did you use that thing for a pillow?" The question was just for his personal amusement, though he pretended to be annoyed.

_That_ caught her attention - she remembered his exact statement that summer night. _That coat is for protection not comfort._

"Comfort is just _protection _from something uncomfortable. If you've got a problem with that, go jump off a cliff."

"What are you going on about?", he asked knowing full well that it was that disagreement again that time they went stargazing. _It took you seven years to think of a retort._

Now, she really wanted to pull her hair out. _Stop pretending, damn it._ "Nothing." Somehow, there was a feeling inside her that… she can't explain. It just nagged her. It was like when she had forgotten something. Other than that, she kept her mouth shut because she felt indebted to him and she just couldn't take it. Call it pride or anything, she can't just say a simple "Thank you." to the person who says he doesn't remember her. _I won't give him the satisfaction._

"Che. So let's go."

"What about your wound?"

"What about it? It's already healing." This, the moyashi already knew. He wondered why she asked. Then he remembered that they weren't supposed to know each other.

"Hmm… I see. Here." She had untied her hair and was giving a red silk ribbon to Kanda.

He stared at it.

"What? You wanna go out in broad daylight with people thinking you're a woman because of your long girly hair? You should tie it at least. Or maybe you want me to tie it for you?"

"Why you little - !"

"I'm not little!"

And then another one of their glaring contests began. But, Allen was tired and just gave up.

"Whatever. Just use it, 'kay?", she said impatiently. "There's no signal here and I need to give our charming supervisor a long talk. A very long one.", she added grimly.

* * *

"But none of the Finders were attacked while they were investigating the place - "

"I don't care and if you send us in another one of your 'harmless' expeditions, I swear that I'm going to make sure that Lenalee _is_ going to get married!" She ended the video call before she could hear the Science Division Head's stutters.

It was a bright, clear morning, the sun was just starting to rise, and the pair were back on the streets of the seaside city which was Edogawa. Allen had just finished reporting to or rather threatening Komui on the Order's secure line. Kanda's ruined coat were drawing looks from the passersby, he had rendered his shirt useless and had disposed of it. His hair was tied up in a red ribbon. They passed by a restaurant. Her stomach growled yet again, clearly audible a few meters away.

"I really need to eat. Tim ate my midnight snacks.", she said clutching her stomach. She had a terrible headache from the night before. She fished around her pockets for her wallet to check if she had enough money. She froze. She checked her pockets again - her coat, her pants - nothing. The reality came crashing down her ears. _I'm going to starve!_ She faced Kanda.

"What's the problem?"

"I've forgotten my wallet."

"Great. At least we can go straight towards the station."

"But I really need to eat. I'm going to die if I don't." She put on a cute little face and began to look at darling Yuu - kun with adorable puppy eyes. "Please, please, please lend me some money. I'm going to pay you back." She pouted the way Lenalee would to attract Komui's attention. The sparkling and glimmering lights were intensifying.

…_Must… resist._ With much difficulty, he tore himself away from the beansprout and began walking resolutely down the sidewalk. "I've only brought along enough for the train fare, so shut up."

"What train fare? Lavi paid for two-way tickets."

_Foiled., _he thought.

He felt her charge towards him. She was apparently about to grab the money and run for it. But, he held out a hand and no matter how much she flailed her arms, she couldn't reach her passport to bliss. "Heh. You'll never get it."

She stopped struggling, thinking of something. "What if I triple it? Or more? I get what I need for a meal and you take the rest of the profit? How about that?" She was smiling widely, sweetly. Kanda knew enough to realize that she had a plan. "What are you talking about?"

"You'll see." She looked around to see if anyone was around to ask for directions. She saw three men wearing work clothes and a child with a face mask some ten yards away.

* * *

They were following the group of men towards a pub who were arguing among themselves whether they should play with the girl or not. One of them had "graciously" offered to play with her and the other two felt that they shouldn't be doing this to a teenager. But, it was him who had treated them to this trip to Japan, so of course, they couldn't argue.

Personally, Allen thought one of them looked familiar. _The one with the curly hair and glasses - I think I know him._

"You sure about this? If you lose all my money, I'm going to kill you - brutally."

"No need to threaten.", she whispered out of the side of her mouth as she sat down, trying to contain her excitement or rather, the demonic aura she always had when she played poker. She had only went with Cross for two years as part of her "training". And with that came, her acquired wisdom about the elegant art of poker to pay for the mountain of bills left at the reception counter for her first thing in the morning her "Master" escapes. "You've never seen me play have you?" That was at the very least, true. Lavi and Lenalee had. She tried her best not to let out an evil laugh. Tried.

* * *

The three men just sat there, their mouths agape, shocked that an innocent - looking underage girl has beat them more than thirty times in a row. They swallowed in unison as she spread out her cards with a touch of some British sophistication. Her face was unreadable, but they already knew the result. They didn't know that she was better in cheating than they were.

"Royal Straight Flush!", she said victoriously, cackling with glee. Kanda was starting to become unnerved by the horns that had erupted out of her head. For a moment, he thought the cursed girl in front of him was getting lucky. But, Allen had whispered and admitted that she was cheating. She did so without honor.

"Yay! I won!", she said grinning from ear to ear. The probability of getting even a straight was less than one in a hundred and here she was winning repeatedly. _Oh, I am simply great at this._

Knowing that doom was upon them yet again, Kanda looked away as he did when witnessing unpleasant situations. He almost felt sorry for the men. They were looking among themselves and he assumed they had no more left. Allen was looking at them expectantly as they started another round. Slowly, they emptied their wallets.

"No! Wait! Gomen! I didn't realize that I pushed too hard. You don't have to give me the rest of your money. Or your clothes." she added, thinking of those other matches during her trip around the world with her mentor or rather, "master", General Cross. "It's fine." She smiled. "Well, I guess, this is it. We've got to go now. Thanks a lot!"

_She asks sorry and thanks them for their money. Wow._, thought Kanda, his face impassive. _What exactly did that womanizing bastard do to the moyashi?_

He and Allen stood up to leave. "But, before I go - I was wondering if I had met you before?" She was talking to the one in the middle.

"Yes, you also seem familiar to me."

They considered each other for a while.

"Oh well, thanks again for the time. Bye! I hope we meet again!" She smiled at the child, whose name she learned was Eaze, and waved as she walked away.

_Yes. I hope so too, and soon._ Tyki Mikk followed her with his eyes, ignoring the dark looks from his friends. _I had better not excite Road too much when I tell her the news. She'll be glad to see how Red has grown._ He frowned. _I should have given her something in return... I'll name the next act, "Taunt and Tear"._

* * *

"Didn't want to see them in their underwear, huh, moyashi? Too young, eh?", Kanda commented on their game a while ago.

"You know, I've seen and made so many men undress in front of my very eyes that it has lost its humor.", she said drily, her mind on its joyous voyage for the search of the nearest eatery.

Kanda turned to stone - he remembered last night. However, Allen had already seen a restaurant and didn't notice.

* * *

Allen was pondering yesterday's events. _It was meant to be a surprise attack. That's why the Finders didn't notice anything. It was planned… sent on purpose… I'm so tired. I really want to sleep… I wonder who that guy is… Must stay… awake…_

They were already on the train headed for the city of Tokyo. Allen, whose stomach was now delightfully full, was yawning, her attention drifting. It was unfortunately Kanda's turn to go hungry since he decided not to eat with the moyashi who was scarfing down everything and ordered two dozen sticks of sweet mitarashi dango for dessert. _Disgusting._ _The fastest person to consume a hundred thousand calories in one sitting._, he thought. She ate so much, there was not much left of the "profit". Suddenly, he felt something land on his left shoulder. The beansprout had fallen asleep.

_She's still cute…_

Somehow, he can't help what he thought of.

Somehow, he didn't want to wake her up.

And somehow, he wished he didn't have to pretend.

_Damn, what am I thinking?_

* * *

**A/N: So... what do you think? I need your reviews! And coffee with milk and sugar. It's nearing our semestral break so I need readers to tell me what they think so I could write better. It kind of warms me up to see alerts in my inbox. I've put in a lot of time for this fic, so pray, do tell me what you think of this so far! Criticism is accepted as long as it would help me improve my writing style. :D Chapter 3 has more action (and fluff) so look forward to it. ^.^**

**-Max Kiel**

**P.S. Our exams start tomorrow. I don't think I'll update till Saturday. Or even later. My family doesn't know about this secret hobby... and we all share the same computer... so yeah. I'm going to start doing my homework, finish that Org Chem presentation, and review for tomorrow's periodical exam. Wish me luck! :D It's 11:20 p.m. - I really like doing things last-minute, don't I? -.- The only thought that comforts me is the fact that I'll be able to get lots of sleep on Friday. That and reviews. :)**


	4. CoT 03: A Past That Haunts Her

**Chains of Time / Toki no Kusari**

**A/N: I'm baaackk! After sitting a dozen one-hour periodical exams, designing a handful of portfolios, attending to a mountain of project deadlines... I'm still alive. I can't believe it. T.T I love your reviews! I'm sorry to say that I haven't done anything to check this chapter of those past perfect verbs because it's already prewritten. I just don't have the energy so forgive me! I hope you understand. By the way, I felt so happy to learn that I managed to capture their characteristics. Thank you once again for reviewing, following and putting this story to your favorite lists. :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM.**

**Warnings: Lots of line breaks. Disrupted action scenes. Confusing dream sequence. It will make you wonder if I did this half-asleep. Which I probably did. :P Please pardon me. I did my best. ^^ Oh, I almost forgot. Very, very long chapter. I really debated with myself if I should break this into two. **

**Chapter 03: A Past That Haunts Her **"There exists a love so reciprocal, that it could be mistaken for hate."

_They had emerged out of the train along with a small crowd as they were greeted by Lavi and Lenalee whom Allen had contacted as they were just leaving Edogawa._

_"Well, how are the cute, little lovebirds?" It was Lavi who said this of course, seeing as he was the only one brave enough to face Mugen at the time._

_"You're creeping me out." Allen stared at Bookman Junior._

_Kanda was already leaving, The others followed suit._

_"Ouch.", he said but he did so happily._

_"And to answer your question, it was no picnic, we've got a hundred Akuma appearing at the site."_

_"Hmm… so Yuu why…? Is it just me or are you injured?" Lavi is really observant, Allen thought, knowing that there was going to be yet another fight…_

_"I told you not to call me that, baka usagi!"_

_But before Kanda could do anything, Lavi had already snatched the lining of his coat, revealing his abdomen wrapped in bandages stained with dried-up blood from last night._

_"And what have we got here?"_

_"If you want to know how I got that, it's because of the idiot moyashi. She doesn't know how to handle herself during a fight." He then stalked off before they could say another word. Allen had chased after him. "What did you say?! Just to be clear, I didn't ask to be saved, BaKanda!"_

_"Right, moyashi."_

_Later, heading towards the car, Lavi asked Lenalee, grinning, "Do you see Kanda's latest hair accessory?"_

_"Yup!"_

_Allen looked at them cluelessly, "What?"_

_Lenalee couldn't stop herself, she laughed, "Oh, they're so cute!"_

_Allen still didn't get what they were up to._

* * *

It was starting to turn cold. Winter was approaching. Allen was stretching her arms up at the sky, looking up at the towering pagodas. She and Lenalee were "touring" a Buddhist temple. More accurately, they were investigating for possible signs of Innocence. _There seems to be nothing at all, no paranormal activity, no telltale signs of it anywhere._ _Are they sure this is the right place?_ It was noon and the sun's warmth mixed with the cool breeze. A silent Finder was following behind them clad in a beige coat, along with a black golem. Unlike gold-colored Timcanpy, the Order issued golems were solely for communication. Tim was different - it could record video and audio. Allen was very fond of Tim and even if she was not sure if it was a living being, she still refers to it as a "he".

Lenalee was teasing her about her mission with Kanda. And she was still embarrassed about it.

"Oooh… it was really romantic, huh, Allen?" Lenalee giggled good-naturedly.

Allen groaned. "Ugh… Could you stop, please? It's making me sick."

Lenalee just giggled again. "Sorry. It's just…"

Allen watched as a couple of tourists passed by._ Who did I just saw?_ A girl with a pink umbrella. Her heart beat fast.

"...Allen, are you okay?"

"Oh… yes, I'm fine." She looked at the crowd again but they were nowhere to be found. _Was it just a trick of the light?_, she thought, knowing full well that it wasn't. She continued, "I just thought I've seen someone." She searched the crowd again. _Nothing._

But, before she could turn away, she saw her again. The little girl waved at her, smiling. She was holding someone else's hand._ Damn! Now, she realized why the guy back then looked familiar._

"Lenalee, no matter what, keep walking, someone's following."

"Who?" She was serious now, and walked briskly alongside Allen.

"Later" was all she said. She whispered something to Timcanpy and it flew off into the sky. They tried to lose them around the pond, along a group of people, across the bridge, through a maze of marble niches which contain the cremated remains of people. _May we be more fortunate._, she thought.

* * *

Timcanpy zoomed through the sky in a golden blur and passed by a couple of Level 2 Akuma. It hurried towards home.

* * *

By the time they were back where they had started, she knew it was no use. _Why do they have to show up now? _She looked at Lenalee, who nodded. She talked to the Finder to clear the area, to pretend it's for renovation. He asked if he should send for help, Allen shook her head and said, "I already sent a message." He left at once. She faced the empty courtyard.

"I know you're there, Tyki, Road."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the two-story house the Order had arranged for their stay at Japan, it was unusually quiet. Lavi, and Kanda were seated at the kitchen table, Lavi reading and Kanda doing an assignment which was due tomorrow. Lavi, of course was making comments (which were just like Lenalee's) to push Kanda to his limits. His paper was filled with blots and depressions where he had been using his pen as a pestle.

"So when's your next date?" Lavi had already read the book he was holding a thousand times and was bored so he went back to his favorite hobby of pestering his "bestfriend", Yuu.

Kanda's patience snapped and so did his pen. "That's it usagi! You've asked for it." He reached for his katana.

But, before he could do so more than unsheathe it, they heard a soft, thumping sound.

"What's that?" Lavi looked around and saw Tim pressing its face against the window. "Huh? What's Timcanpy doing here?"

Kanda unlatched the window to let the golem in. Tim landed on Kanda's homework and opened its mouth. They recognized what they heard as Allen's voice.

_"Two Noah spotted. Back up required. Just as a precaution, I guess. I'm not sure we could lose them."_

For a moment, the message hung still in the air but they moved quickly. _And I thought I was going to have a moment of peace - Who am I joking? This is better than spending time with the baka usagi, _Kanda thought as they hurried out of the house. He sat in the driver's seat.

"I'm driving.", he declared quietly, putting the keys in ignition.

* * *

"Mmm… I thought you wanted to play hide-and-seek all day long! I'm glad you got tired of it. How about another game?" The girl laughed, looking at them with yellow eyes. A grayish tinge seemed to seep across their skin.

Lenalee murmured, "Noah".

Tyki stepped forward. "As decided, I'll leave 'Allen' to you, Road. Though, if I remember right, didn't we use to call you 'Red'?"

"Shut up!" She gritted her teeth, her silver eyes filled with vicious anger.

"What? You don't want your pretty friend here to know?"

"Shut up!" No longer able to contain her anger, she attacked the man. He dodged flawlessly.

"I expected you to do better than that." He smiled, taunting her. "I changed my mind - Road you do the other one."

"What!" She faced Lenalee. "This is all you fault! If you hadn't come we could have had Allen all to ourselves!" She said this in a childish tone, her eyes glistening with what was, unmistakably, murder.

* * *

"Don't mess with me, Tyki!" She was on the offensive while the other was merely evading her blows.

"I am not… but since you've asked for it… Tease!" Glowing purple butterflies erupted from the palm of his hands, born from the Dark Matter that resided in all _fourteen_ of the Noah Clan.

She held up her arm in defense but they continued to attack. For every Tease that she destroyed, a few more joined the chaos. She continued to get rid of them. At last, only one of them remained, and she swiped at it furiously. Tyki was no longer to be found. She waited, listening intently. _From below, behind, right, or left?_ She knew he could phase through normal matter as he wished. He could choose what to touch or not being the Noah of Pleasure.

* * *

Lenalee was dodging the pointed candles which Road appeared to be controlling with her mind. She brought herself high up in the air using her boots, but Road had followed standing on the pink umbrella she was holding a while ago. Lenalee landed behind Allen, startling her. The candles missed them by inches and dug into the soil. Road jumped off the umbrella. It had a pumpkin head at its tip which was talking. "Lero, if the Earl finds out that you've taken Lero out again, he'll get mad, Lero!" It spoke like an old woman berating a child.

"Nyeehhh", she said annoyed, "You know Millenie never gets angry at me. Anyway, I'm busy, you can tell me off later. After I finish." She licked her lips maliciously. "You know,", she addressed Lenalee, "I'd rather have a separate venue for the event. Play with me." That same tinkling laugh.

* * *

"Lenalee!", Allen shouted out but suddenly Tyki appeared out of nowhere, bearing weapons on his forearms with the same unearthly glow of the Tease.

"Don't get distracted, Cheater."

"So it was you!" It was again one-on-one combat with Tyki. "You were the one who sent those Akuma!"

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"Grr!" She was tired of their games. All they were doing was throwing attacks at each other, dodging, defending. This fight was getting nowhere. While the Noah seemed so relaxed, her muscles were tense with anger and fear - not only for Lenalee but also for herself and the secrets she held inside. She didn't want anybody to know and they weren't about to. Not when she had trusted them! Not when they had killed - !

"Gah!" She was hit on the shoulder by the flat of the other's weapon. She staggered.

"That's what you get for not paying attention. I suggest you do not move." _This might be a little painful._

But, Allen was already on the run. _I'm never going to let you do what you want that easily. Whatever that is._

"Come back here, girl!"

Allen was looking for the other Exorcist. _Please let her be alright._

* * *

"Let's play!" Road's voice echoed in her head, in the darkness, through her entire being. She felt different, unattached to the world.

"Where am I?" Her terrified voice amplified in the hollow space.

"Lenalee, are you alright?" Allen's form was approaching her through the gloom.

"Yes, what - ?" Allen looked weird. She was walking, true, but not in a way that suggested she was okay.

"Allen?" Her breathing turned into ragged, horrified gasps for air, as the other person vomited blood, its twisted form collapsing.

"L-l-lenalee… Lenalee. H… help." But before she could reach for her, she had vanished into a shower of the same candles Road used. She stared into empty space. _What is happening? _She heard the dull _thunk_s of the candles as they hit the barren land and materialized into somebody else.

Murmurs. More calling. Voices of those who are dear to her.

She ran and the more she ran, the more she realized this was a dream, a nightmare. The surroundings were forming itself into that familiar landscape of ruins. And the people, the people… _No… no... _"Don't!", she screamed. She wanted to escape get away from the visions she was seeing. Death. "Stop it! STOP! PLEASE!"

"Stop? But isn't it fun?" An amused voice asked over the sickening sounds from the figures, sounds of the dying. "Don't you like this _wonderful_ reunion?"

Allen was panting, a stitch at her side. "Lenalee!", she called but she was nowhere. _Damn, this is not the time to get lost._ Her eye activated. She rolled out of the way as Level 2s attacked her.

"Hey, I've seen you before!"

"Get out of the way!" She fired at them and as soon as they cleared, she ran through them.

* * *

The sun was beginning to sink when they arrived at the temple. He parked the slick black car haphazardly along the entrance arch. _About time we got here._ Timcanpy had been their guide to finding the place. They were delayed due to the oncoming traffic even though Kanda did every maneuver possible to get through before rush hour. A Finder was waiting anxiously.

"Where are they?", Lavi inquired, his hammer at the ready.

"I don't know exactly… "

They went past him without even listening to the whole sentence.

* * *

_They're still following!_ Allen still couldn't find any sign of Lenalee or Road. She went inside the mausoleum and went running around the columns and rows of niches, some had candles, food and flowers, some were empty - yawning holes that were waiting to be filled. She reached the stairs and climbed up towards the next floor - still the same scenario - not a living person in sight. She emerged on the rooftop, still filled with cement boxes to the very last metre.

* * *

Road was strolling around the rooftop when she saw Allen. Her face burst into a wide smile. She was very glad indeed. The person she was waiting for at last.

"Where's Lenalee?"

"Dreaming." She said simply, twirling Lero lazily. _I know that you know what that means._ "She's a little too fragile for my taste but it _is enjoyable_ seeing her world crumble into little pieces, bit by bit." She savored those words and relished the other's expression. By the very least, she seemed to. _This act needs great actors to receive a standing ovation._ Even so, she loved the fact that she was doing this. It was close to second nature.

"Where is she?", the other repeated, taking a step closer, aware that the Akuma had followed her and were hovering behind.

"If you meant her body, she is still where I left her. Haven't you seen?"

"Let go of her. Now."

"But… Ah, I guess I should." Road Camelot sighed. "I need to focus on other things" Candles appeared out of nowhere. Waiting to strike.

Without warning, Allen jumped and was going to strike Road from above but she was forced to get out of the way as a dozen candles whizzed towards her.

"You're too full of energy. I would have thought you'd be tired by now."

"What do you want?" Her eyes were glaring straight at the Noah's.

"What do you think?" Road's face was serious now. She too looked at Allen.

"Never." She said defiantly.

Road smiled again. "Then you'd better cool your head off with the Akuma. I'll wait."

* * *

Lenalee awoke trembling. She was breathing heavily as if she had only been given the chance to now. She slowly got on to her feet, shaken by the images from that dream. Or was it just a dream? She shook her head as if to get rid of it. Another thing caught her mind. _Allen._ She once again remembered what happened in that world. _Please don't let that happen._ She flew up into the sky.

* * *

Tyki appeared from the shadows looking at those new faces. One was carrying a hammer, the other a sword. He spoke.

"I'm sorry but I'm sure that you are already too late."

They did not say anything and instead tightened their grips on their weapons and lunged towards him.

_Two versus one._, he thought. _This is better._

* * *

_One down._ Allen recognized its attacks as the one that had attempted to hit her in their previous mission. It went down with a scream. Road clapped, a spectator perched once again on the umbrella. The other two seeing their fellow defeated had started using their full powers.

She spotted a figure speeding towards them in the sky. _That girl again. What is Tyki doing? He's making me do everything._

Allen was almost down to her limit and felt that she was slowing down. A jet of ice from one of them almost made its mark.

"Watch out!" The Akuma shouted to the other. Chunks of stone flew as Lenalee landed on the railings instead of the Akuma. She took a moment to ask, "Are you okay?"

Allen nodded. 'You?"

"Yes."

"Let's finish this." Allen faced the Akuma while Lenalee started fighting with the other. She froze. It was begging at Road.

"No, mistress, don't make me self destruct!"

Allen was about to point her parasitic-type Innocence at the Akuma.

"No can do. Time's almost up.", she said as she put down another finger. Even though she was a Noah, she still had a conscience born from mingling with an outsider, someone who was never meant to become one of them. She had taken the time to make Allen notice what she was doing for she knew that the girl saw their souls. She had no wish to see the other's face contort in anguish as the very existence of the Akuma's energy dissipated into nothingness. Still, she wore on her face that sort of sadistic smile she might have worn comfortably before.

A single ray of light from the cannon that was Allen's arm sailed through the air and released the monster's battered, trapped soul just as Road counted to zero.

* * *

A shining display of hell itself. That was what Tyki witnessed as he went through numerous objects, just so that the combination of the swirling flames and the menacing illusions of Hell's Insects couldn't get him. He no longer wished to fight them and just took his time mocking them, though the words coming from his mouth escaped him. He just wanted to get the job done without other, shall we say,_ complications_.

* * *

A look of utmost hatred seemed to sear and twist Road's heart. _I no longer recognize you.,_ it said. _How could you dare destroy a human being's soul! _Being ordered to self-destruct, she knew that the soul attached to it would lose its existence. Only Innocence had the ability to destroy a "demon" while freeing the soul unharmed.

_I'm sorry, _she thought, as she took a moment of the other's distraction and carefully aimed her mind at Allen's left eye, the one that had made her a valuable asset at the Order, and almost for the Noah. _I just want to save you._

* * *

A bloodcurdling scream. Her mind seemed to go into free fall as she plummeted to the ground, unable to move. The move was unanticipated and its effect was too. A candle had pierced her eye. Every movement she made had sent her into a wave of pain as if she was having agonizing muscle spasms, a current of some kind radiated from her eye along her body. Having lost her balance, she had unwisely toppled back away from Road. She knew from the moment she hit the low banister that it was the wrong choice. Not that she could do anything to stop it. She braced herself for the impact that would follow after, say, a three-story fall.

* * *

_This is a mistake!_ An expression of utmost concern for what she had done flashed across her face as a helpless hand tried to reach for something to hang unto despite the pain that seared unto its arms. Its fingers grasped nothing. However, the Noah of Dreams regained her composure as she saw the other Exorcist, having just noticed, reach out and grip the hand of the falling one.

* * *

"…thought I was going to die. I owe you."

"Yes, you gave me quite a scare."

A commotion amongst the main temple brought them back to their current situation.

"Go there and help. I can't…" Her voice trailed off as her diaphragm succumbed to the pain invading her senses.

"Are you sure? I can't leave you here."

"Just go! I'll follow later."

Lenalee gave Allen one last look and went off.

* * *

Her shoes made a soft _thump_ as she stepped off Lero onto the ground just as the pigtailed girl headed towards what seemed another battle. She went pass the white-haired Exorcist and casually slipped something into her coat pocket. Despite the burning glare Allen gave her, she mouthed, _From Tyki_. It was clear they wouldn't succeed on the first try. Still, Road hoped she would cave in sooner or later. Not that she was sure Allen understood what they want in the first place. A door appeared from the stone and she went through it without another word.

* * *

A checkered red and black door. Road peeked out and Tyki nodded to say he understood.

"I guess this is the end of our meeting. Good day." He ducked out of the way as the two tried to attack him one last time, and entered it.

* * *

_Something's not right. It's terribly quiet._ She struggled to stand using a pillar for support. But, her knees were once again gripped by pain and felt like they were squeezed tightly. Even her arms were searing with the sensation - like an electric current gone haywire. She dropped to the ground once again. _What's wrong with my body? It was my eye that was hit! Damn!, _her mind screamed. _I've got to get there!_ She tried again and once more, and the same thing happened, only worse. She had to accept it. She had to wait till the others came.

* * *

Lenalee had arrived only to catch a glimpse of Tyki as the door closed and sank back to the earth. _I shouldn't have left Allen by herself!_ The next thing she knew, she had explained what had happened and the three of them were running as fast as they could towards the place where Allen had almost plunged to her death.

* * *

The sound of people running made her look up.

"Thank goodness, you're okay.", the girl whispered, panting for breath.

"They already left.", Allen explained, attempting once again to stand up. She didn't want the mighty Kanda Yuu to see her in this kind of condition. "They've got what they came for", she added bitterly.

"So… you mean there was really no Innocence?", Lavi had never seen Allen beaten up like this but he was unsure how to act and he eyed Kanda uncertainly. Blood had run down parallel to the scar on her cheek and her knees gave way again.

"It was a trap. They want to mock us." She said this viciously. She had never spoken ill of the Noah in front of her friends but she didn't care anymore. She didn't care if they found it weird that she took her anger against Road and Tyki quite personally. "I can do this!", she snapped at Lavi who made a motion as if wanting to assist her.

The only person who hadn't spoken until now gave her a look of vexation. _You're going to end up blabbing all your secrets._ "Baka, we don't have till midnight." And with that, he stooped down as the moyashi had just accomplished standing yet again, grabbed her by the thighs, and hoisted her up as if he was carrying nothing more than a sack of potatoes. Lavi and Lenalee just stood watching, amazed. Indeed, no one has ever done that as cunningly fast as him.

_What is this? Some sort of kidnap scene?_ "Let me go!" She beat his back with her fists. Then regretted it. She gasped and felt her body stiffen in defense, responding to the aching.

"Hmph. Don't force yourself too much beansprout." He heard her labored, angry breathing. Her blows to his back were as weak as a little child. He decided to get her to home quickly.

"Ummm… Kanda?" Lenalee had an anxious look on her face.

"What?" He asked, annoyed, realizing that there were "other people" around.

"Well… umm…"

Lavi took a long breath of courage and answered for Lenalee, "All the blood will go to her head and she's got an eye injury and her shoulder's hurt and -"

"I get it. I get it." He evaluated them for a moment. Their faces were pretty straight. _And _they've got a point. "But the moment I see that Timcanpy's recording this, I'll kill you." He looked at Lavi. Lavi gulped, grabbed Tim and handed him to Lenalee, still afraid of turning his back on Kanda. That was good enough for him.

_Why the hell can he intimidate me now? Does his aura grow exponentially with age? _Lavi thought, scared of the fact that seven years had removed his "immunity" and made him vulnerable again to his wrath. He picked something that had dropped from Allen's coat and followed after the others, shrugging the feeling off.

* * *

Forty five seconds later, after the aftermath of an intense mental battle with himself, Yuu was carrying Allen in a very different way. He wanted to facepalm. That was, if he wasn't using both of his hands. _had I gotten myself into?_

If it weren't for his pride, he would have dropped her to the ground. Anyway, she had fallen asleep and her breathing became regular and calm, even soothing. Still, he did not know how to react when the moyashi cuddled and gripped the front of his coat. He dared not look down at the person he was carrying lest he should be overwhelmed by the "cuteness overload" as he overheard Lenalee describe… this. He also heard the words, faint as they are, "damsel in distress", "bridal style" and other phrases referring to fairy tales and weddings. _Why did I fucking get in this situation?_

They had reached the entrance at long last. "Reached at long last" because it was painfully long for Kanda who had to tolerate the other two. He had a feeling that they were planning something. Pretty little schemes that he did not want to be a part of. _Not in any way. Don't they try_. However, his auditory nerves were telling his brain that they were still going on about what he had done. That was, right now. Unfortunately, his keen ears were not paying attention a while ago. Until a certain Lavi had decided to test his endurance. The horror of this. Not being able to do anything. Or maybe not - if he was true to himself, though, he might have thought that he felt… good to be doing this. As if somehow, he was repaying her for whatever good she might have done to him or maybe making up for being such a pain -.

However, a redhead raced past him as soon as they caught sight of the car and his chain of thought was disrupted. Like someone had swung an axe through it. _What the - ?_

"Why will you be the one to drive?" He said through gritted teeth, a muscle in his jaw twitching, no trace of any affection whatsoever he might have had in his mind for the beansprout. Junior was sitting in the driver's seat perfectly poised to drive. With a jolt, he remembered that in his hurry he had left the keys where they are. The engine was already humming.

"You've used your turn." Lavi reminded him, still looking perfectly innocent.

Kanda wanted so badly to snap, or rather, snap the usagi's limbs. Or at least point Mugen at him.

Lavi knew that Kanda couldn't do any of that. So, he continued smiling. He even sang "Here Comes The Bride" as they went on their way to see if he would forget everything and attack Lavi on the first or on the second line. But he didn't. Even until he finished. He was amazed by the amount of self-control he was utilizing right now. His willpower was becoming impressive indeed. Or maybe the fact that he couldn't do anything at all if he didn't want to hurt his precious moyashi. So, literally, "beansprout" is fast-becoming one of Kanda's greatest weaknesses ever. He grinned even more at the thought.

Lenalee, took hold. "So… since you're carrying Allen-chan, you'll be seating at the back. Be sure not to let her fall." She opened the door. She too was smiling in a way that told him that there was no escape. He felt like he was being led to his sentence. But he acted like it was nothing. That he was nothing except the slightest bit annoyed about the fact that he doing this. That he was not the slightest bit bothered about the physical contact between them. The person who annoys him the most. So he went in.

"Che."

"Make sure Allen is comfortable. Okay, Yuu?" Lavi added, winking at Lenalee who giggled. Lavi thought that Lenalee needed some cheering up and this was one way to do it. _I wonder what happened._, he thought.

* * *

Kanda noticed how fast Lavi drove. And he knew the rabbit was doing it on purpose. _This is going to be one long trip._, he thought, gripping the moyashi so that she wouldn't fall as Lavi made a sudden swerve.

* * *

A large bump woke her. She remained still and listened. First, she deduced that she had fallen asleep. Second, that she was in a car. Third, that she was resting her head on someone's lap. _…Wait. What was that again?_ She opened her eyes by a millimeter and saw the truth for herself. He was holding her. _I don't want to think about it. I definitely don't._ She closed her eyes again and willed herself back to sleep, almost turning to her side. It was a sleeping position she had grown accustomed to when they spent the nights glaring at each other from the opposite sides of their room when she was new to the Order. It was then later, that she slept facing the wall to stop herself from glancing at him to see if he was still awake. There was one thing, though. One thing that had made her continue her sleep and not freak out. She was once again feeling what it's really like to be safe. If only for a while.

* * *

_Mirrors. A maze of them. She walked among them looking at those smooth surfaces, reflecting nothing but the smoky black this world was made of. No, not black. Gray. Or maybe white? She wasn't certain. All she knew was that she was following a man important to her. She just couldn't recall his face exactly but he knew his name. Mana. She wanted to shout it out but she didn't, fearing it was only a mistake. She had seen him rounding a corner, when a voice rang out._

_"Don't you remember?"_

_She breathed in sharply in surprise and turned around. "I haven't forgotten anything", she calmly replied to the shadows that were wavering in the reflections, lurking out of sight, those demons of the past, camouflaged against the backdrop of this desolate place._

_"You promised!"_

_"Liar."_

_"Don't leave us!"_

_Those words were thrown out at her whispering vehemently at first but were now turning into a torrent of anger, agony. She ran covering her ears trying to block them out. She saw a spiral staircase made out of glass, ascending infinitely to the sky, if there was one. She went towards it, hoping that they wouldn't be able to follow._

_She had gone so far up but it seemed like she was gaining no altitude. The steps were cracking, creaking, crashing to the ground below, frail, useless. The din was getting louder, and the staircase gave way, shattering beneath her weight, her guilt._

_There was no sensation of falling. Only the soft grass beneath her feet. A child and a man…_

_She was a child, standing by a pond. She was holding someone's hand. She broke free and began heading towards the flowers, laughing, skipping on the grass._

_"Hey, you might get hurt!"_

_But, the child pretended not to hear and said, "What are these called?"_

_"They're called lotuses."_

_"Wow, they're beautiful." She knelt down and was cupping one of them in her hand, feeling its velvety petals._

_"What's the matter?" The man had seen the frown on the young one. Clearly, she was thinking of something._

_"Mana?"_

_"Hm?"_

_"I can't choose a favorite."_

_"A favorite what?"_

_"A favorite flower. I mean, I like roses but now I also like lotuses. What am I supposed to pick?"_

_"What? Can't you have two favorites?"_

_Realization dawned on the child's face. "Oh."_

_The scene before her had the quality of a movie. However, it was starting to turn into slow motion. Darkness was stealing at the corners of this world, creeping towards them. They, too, were fading, consumed by blood just like how fire would consume paper. The lotuses were vanishing and what was left was the one the child - no, she - touched._

_"Mana!", she screamed trying to grab him but nothing remained except ash, swirling in the wind that was blowing everything away._

_Darkness returned and she looked down to see that she her dress was floating in waist-deep water. She spotted the flower and waded towards it. She lifted it up from the water, seeing that there was no reflection of her and it at all. When she did so, a voice whispered disdainfully._

_"You really have forgotten haven't you?"_

_She became aware that she was enclosed with mirrors… and the one before her… in it… was no other than herself._

_The other mirrors were vacated though she expected their occupants to be there. She knew that she did not want this last one to leave._

_The child only shook its head, giving up, turning its back._

_"No! Don't! Please stay!"_

_The child took one look at her, as if considering for a moment, then continued on its way._

_And as the mirror's shadows enveloped it, the lotus she was holding wilted and blood snaked its way through her fingers, dripping, dyeing the water crimson. She stared in horror as she sensed roses, red as the blood, pierce through the fabric of her dress, twisting around her, getting tangled in her hair. White roses, meanwhile, emerged from the blood and joined with the others, trying to bring her down to its depths. The child had stopped its departure and was watching her struggle. She stood there, even as the other one's eyes begged for help. She silently communicated with her eyes._

_~There is a solution. I need not leave. Just put your faith in both.~_

_Allen did not know if the "Bang!" she heard as she submerged came from her dream or came from the world that was taking her back._

_She knew what those eyes meant, though._

* * *

_Restoration and Overhaul… 100% Complete._

_Initializing Regeneration_

* * *

Kanda was awakened by a sound from the room across his. Screaming and contact on something hard. Sobbing. He raced towards her room.

He called out her name. Or rather, her given nickname. "Moyashi!" He was knocking as hard as he could on the locked door. _Why is it fucking locked? _The others were behind him, waiting for a response of some kind. They only heard more broken mumbling.

He had enough. Kanda kicked the door down. The beansprout's uninjured eye flew open. She blinked in the light. It hurt her eye. Her lips were dry and her throat was sore. Her cheeks were wet with tears. She was on the floor and her back was aching. _Why is everybody here?_

"Are you alright?" Lenalee asked, her face pale.

" 'Course I am. Why - ?" He looked at where her bedroom door was supposed to be and their uptight faces. She also felt the wooden floor as she sat upright. She concluded that she had a nightmare, a bad one at that.

"-are we here? You sounded like you were being tortured. You were screaming things like 'Don't' and stuff. Plus you were crying and it sounded like you were trashing around the place." Lavi was still looking at Allen as if she might become possessed by an evil spirit at any second.

She stood up, glad to see that she already could, and rubbed her eyes. Her head was pounding, hair was plastered to her face, and a wave of nausea was threatening to rise. Sweat made her clothes cling to her skin. She was still wearing the same thing. Her coat, though, was folded neatly on top of a chair.

"Really, it's alright - I just had a dream. That's all. You can go now." She added. She headed towards the bathroom, getting some clothes to change to from her drawer, making Lavi and Lenalee well-aware it was the end of discussion.

"Must be a _pretty_ bad nightmare…" Lavi muttered as he and Lena made their way back to their respective rooms. They knew Kanda had hung back to take care of the situation. That's enough.

* * *

She looked at the mirror. A shadow of a man. She turned quickly and saw nothing. When she returned to gazing at the glass there was nothing in it. _Must be a trick of the light. Or because I can't see out of both eyes._ There was a gauze on her left eye. She carefully removed it and inspected the damage. _My face is even more asymmetrical than before…_ She closed her right eye and waved her hand in front of her to test its vision. Just blurry colors. Like a washed-out painting. _Guess I have to be thankful they did nothing more. I'm surprised I can still see out of it. I hope it heals. I definitely can't do without it. _Thoughts tumbled through her mind, some comforting, others anxious.

She splashed water on her face, contemplating what she had dreamt about. She was doing her best not to forget about what had happened. But the nightmare was so confusing, it was hard to get anything out of it. Not that you get anything out of any dream. Still, she knew there was something in it. She just couldn't remember.

_I don't think I've ever thought about a favorite flower._

_But those voices were familiar… _She let more of the cold fluid run through her hands. _Of course they were_, she thought grimly.

_And what was with those red words I saw? Were they part of the dream? I didn't even read them._

She gargled some water. _What else could they be? _She shook the unsettling notion from her mind and dried her hands on a towel, needing a shower to refresh her mind and to ease that paralyzing sensation that still stuck with her, even though it was already fading away.

* * *

Kanda was waiting for the beansprout to return. Something on the bedside table caught his eye. _She still keeps this thing? She's never even used this_, he thought incredulously. It was an antique-looking wooden mini-cabinet with three faces - the middle one with two doors. Something for jewelry. He had always wondered what was inside. Through the glass, he could make out a few bracelets. He opened a drawer near the bottom which contained some earrings and rings. No doubt all of them courtesy of Lenalee. He received a jolt, however, when he caught a glimpse of a small photograph hidden beneath the accessories. It was identical to the one he himself kept. The two side doors, though, were empty. Its small rotating "hangers" did not look like they had ever been used. _Surely Lenalee would not miss out necklaces?_, he wondered. He then spotted that there was a lid at its top that wasn't quite noticeable had the samurai not felt the hinges. He lifted it up.

Out spilled forth the tinkle of a Musician's melody.

* * *

Allen had just finished taking a quick shower and changing into a pair of pajamas when she heard the song. _Who's touched my music box?_ She arrived at the room only to see Kanda lounging on a chair beside her bed, arms crossed, listening to the piece. She was tempted to hum along side the breathtaking composition. Sadness and hope was what it sounded like. Unmixable though they may be.

She closed down the lid, its music ending with such finality that Kanda knew he had overstepped his prying. "Maybe it's so hard to fight the darkness because we have a darkness within ourselves.", she said softly, smiling a little bit just to show she wasn't angry. She continued to close everything up, to conceal hints about herself, even though Kanda had already seen it. Or some of it. _She still smiles that way… like I don't know she's remembered something again. _"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that there are things people don't want other people to know about. Especially people they don't know.", she added, wishing the person addressed to would just admit they had met before. She didn't even know what to believe regarding him.

Kanda pretended to be confused to her added statement. He raised an eyebrow at her, looking just a bit curious though he had internally accepted the beansprout's right to privacy. He, instead, asked a question which he deemed unimportant.

"Don't you wear necklaces?"

Spontaneously, her expression hardened for a second and Kanda would have thought he had just imagined it if the moyashi's eyes hadn't still bore a glint to it. He heard the girl mutter an excuse about them being a hassle when fighting. She had her back turned from him.

"Just as a side question, may I ask why you're sitting there?" She winced a little because of her throbbing shoulder as she attempted to fit back the door in its frame.

"Because I'm not as idiotic as to sit on the floor when there's a chair." Kanda watched as the moyashi strode towards him. He saw her notice the reference to their last mission. Those reactions… _Priceless moments_, he thought.

Too tired to retort, the other rephrased her query, an impatient bite to her tone. "I mean, why haven't you gone back to your room?"

"On the situation that you repeat your scenario, do you actually want to end up waking those annoying people again?"

"Well, no…" Allen had just thought of that fact. "And they're not annoying."

"Says the person who's even more so."

"Shut your mouth, BaKanda. You're the annoying one."

"I would if you could just haul your ass to your bed so I can finally have a moment of peace."

She gave him one very long calculating look. "You actually sure about this?"

"Do I look like I have a choice?"

"You know - just leave me."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to."

"Wow. Such a brilliant and acute explanation." She crawled under her covers and rested her head on the delightfully fluffy pillows. A thought hit her. The same thought the other had on their last mission together. "What about you? Aren't you going to sleep?"

"I can do without for some while. Unlike someone I can mention." He said this under his breath. Allen fumed but resumed finding a comfortable direction she could face in. She would usually turn to her right but since Kanda was there she opted to face the other way.

It was a good ten minutes later, and Kanda watched as the moyashi squirmed, clearly unable to sleep.

Allen had already settled for a good sleeping position but there was something else that she wanted to do. It was bothering her so much that it was even fighting back her drowsiness. Pride, however, was holding her back. But…

* * *

A few minutes later, Kanda thought that Allen had finally slept when she became still. In reality, though, the girl was gathering the strength to say something. She would never be able to attain peace with herself if she didn't do this.

"Yuu?" She had to use the name just to annoy him.

"What?" He felt so annoyed the moyashi was still awake that the usage of his first name went completely unnoticed.

"Thanks."

He was too surprised to respond. But it was enough for Allen.

* * *

The wall clock was ticking softly and it was too dark to see its hands.

Allen had fallen asleep and had turned to face him. As she did, it became apparent how childlike the moyashi was still. She may have been strong during the battles but she still needed the people around her… He always thought that despite how much he knew about her, she still had other demons waiting to resurface being kept behind those fake smiles of hers. Just seeing her react to an ordinary question… it was something that struck him as enlightening - her secrets were ubiquitous, scattered around and easily tripped over - it became an even more important task to stay as far away from her as possible. _Let her hate me, it's for her own good. It isn't as if it bothers her… does it?_

He did not know if it was the exhaustion, or from the calm brought by the girl's innocent face, by the tranquil quietness that emitted from her which seemed too fragile to be broken, but at that moment, he joined her slumber - Two souls finding solitude with each other, their breaths harmonizing with the cool night.

**A/N: So... did you even bother reading it? Haha...It's like 13-14 pages, landscape, on Tahoma 10! Even if it's long, I do hope for your feedback! Please review! :) Maybe then I would work on a one-shot I'm planning to post. Lalala... I love sem breaks. Don't expect me anytime soon though. I've still got to help with the school paper (I'm the EIC.) and take a quiz I missed. **

**Please review~!**

**Love lots!**

**-Max Kiel**

**Forecast for next chapter: Very fluffy. Like cotton candy.**


	5. CoT 04: Winter Melancholy

**Chains of Time / Toki no Kusari**

**A/N: I took my time, neh? I guess I got that sudden depressing "mood swing" over my vacation. And thanks for another review and follow! I actually got the idea for the music jewelry box from something very similar I have - except when it opens a ballerina pops out. (That is, if I recall correctly - can't see it anywhere now. :o) Oh, by the way, the lotus in Allen's dream did not symbolize Kanda but what her subconscious had perceived the Order to be because of him. I think that's all I have to explain for now. I can't seem to push through with the one-shot though; too lazy and/or busy to translate into English. **

**This fic contains a little known Hatsune Miku song entitled "Memories" made by NND user 19's Sound Factory. (No, I am not implying in anyway that Fem!Allen's voice would be as high-pitched as Miku. That's a big no-no. I imagine feminine Allen's singing voice to be somewhere in between alto and soprano. If that makes sense.) After that part it's good to read it along with the O'neill Brother's rendition of Ode to Joy then, ****for the last part (last double line break, I mean),**** the piano instrumental of My Grown-up Christmas List from a YouTube video. (I can't find which exactly but I have the mp3 on my phone. Big help, huh?) **

**This chapter is more than 9,000 words. They're getting longer and longer. o.o**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D.G.M. [Hoshino-san is doing so well with the story. I hope for her recovery so she could release more chapters. :D I was actually hoping for some eye-candy before I update this... -.-] And I don't own any Vocaloid songs or the piano pieces that I suggested and somehow inspired me in writing / planning the plot of this story. They belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

**Chapter 04: Winter Melancholy **"The white coldness of winter constantly reminded her of the sensation of being alone, but, it made her even more aware also of the warmth she gains from the people around her."

_She woke up supposedly feeling rejuvenated were it not for the storm that was doing its best to flood Tokyo, not that it could manage the feat. Still, it was strong enough to make her feel like she was in the middle of a war, the pellets of raindrops pounding like bullets on their roof. _It was dark as evening. I guess classes are suspended. Or not. But I'm not going to attend either way. I'm so happy._, she thought contentedly, wanting to nestle back to her blanket. Instead, she found herself sitting on her bed trying to make out her fingers with her left eye, her feet playing with the wrinkled bedcover. She let out a breath, the cold giving her energy, making her shiver and remember that she was hungry. Yawning, she got out from the bed to head to the bathroom, still evaluating her sight. Then she tripped and fell flat on her face._

_ "Watch where you're going, moyashi."_

_ She stood up, gathering pieces of her fallen dignity as she did so. "What about: Don't put your feet where it doesn't belong."_

_ "I woke up just in time to see you sprawled on the floor, baka, so don't blame me for your stupidity."_

_ "So you actually slept." Allen muttered, ego still sore about what happened. _

_ "Your point? Just so you know, I had to carry you the whole time, while you were skipping merrily in dreamland. You weren't exactly light." It was completely the opposite, in fact, but Kanda wanted to know if Allen cared about her weight now that she had reached adolescence._

_ Allen looked at Kanda haughtily, unclear as to how to feel about her diet, now that the other had brought it to light. "So what? At least, __I_ _do not starve myself eating nothing but soba noodles."_

_ "So instead you choke yourself to death with dango."_

_ Self-preservation. Self-control. Energy conservation. She ignored the sentence as if it wasn't spoken, not wanting to leave her calm zone, and asked, "Are we going down for breakfast?"_

_ "Che. I thought so."_

* * *

_ She plopped down on her chair, yawning even louder, and lowered her forehead to the table as she waited for Lenalee's cooking. It was one of the reasons why Lenalee was one of her favorite people in the world - accommodating her diet like that. Lavi was seated beside her and because the moyashi seemed so tired, he asked, grinning, "How come Moyashi-chan is so tired, Yuu? Don't tell me-?" His uncovered eye swiveled back and forth across the two of them, like he was accusing them for something._

_ Before Kanda could do anything, though, Allen had whacked him around the head, clearly not in the mood for Lavi's perverted jokes. Yawning once again and stretching her arms, she headed to the kitchen to help Lenalee out._

She didn't notice anything, huh?_, Lavi thought, watching her retreating back, her white hair still uncombed as she often ate before doing anything else. _She… really needs to take a break from those Noah.

* * *

_"And Allen, you should think up of a better excuse when evacuating people next time. We can't go on covering up for you. I've got other things to do."_

_"Like building a another Komurin?"_

_It was still raining. They were in the living room - Lenalee reporting to her brother on a secure video call network made by the Science Division and Lavi butting in occasionally. Once or twice or maybe ten times, Allen had to clamp Lavi's mouth to stop him from saying something "unnecessary" to Komui. When Lenalee had completed her report, Allen breathed a sigh of relief and looked around for Kanda, who was just with them a moment ago._

_ "Where's Kanda?"_

_ "Dunno. Maybe upstairs." Lavi answered. He noticed Kanda leave a while ago but he was too busy warding off Allen's hands to know where he went. Anyway, Lenalee had decided to review for an upcoming end-of-term test and ended the video call since all Komui bothered to do was to wail, "Are you alright?" "My sweet, darling Lenalee…", blah, blah, and so forth. Lenalee loved her brother, but her brother loved her too much in return. Lavi wasn't even able to spread things about "Yullen" to the Order through her Nii-san._

* * *

_ As Allen reached the landing, she saw Kanda, fixing her door._

_ For a moment, she just stood there, mulling over the possible causes of his strange behavior. _Does he have a fever? Or is it because it's Christmas? Maybe he believes in Santa Claus?

_ She got rid of those comical thoughts and spoke. "Kanda, you don't have to do that, you know. It's my fault and for waking you up and -"_

_ Kanda continued screwing back one of the door's hinges, not really bothering to listen. His plan included sneaking here, mending the door, and go to his room and pretend that Allen's bedroom door magically righted itself. It absolutely did not include said sprout to come walking in on him. He had expected the ruckus below to last for another half-hour._

_ "- Hey, are you even listening?"_

_ He looked up at the moyashi, boring a hole in the frame, and muttered, "When can you stop being so noisy?"_

_ "Look, Yuu, I didn't ask you to do this."_

_ "And I didn't ask you to come here using my first name now that I'm doing it."_

_ Allen let out a loud sigh of frustration. "Why can't I even talk to you normally?"_

_ "Just what do you want?"_

_ "I… just wondered where you were and I didn't really expect you to do that… when I guess you must be pretty tired from yesterday…"_

_ "I'm not tired, moyashi."_

_ "It's Allen. When will you even bother saying my name correctly? Besides, that's not the point. I just want to ask if I could help you."_

_ "Like you know how to."_

_ "I sure do!"_

_ "Che. Just leave me alone, beansprout."_

_ The girl let out a breath as she gave in to his stubbornness and left. "It's Allen, Yuu-kun.", she called out, wanting to have the last retort._

* * *

.

* * *

_School had officially taken a break, still leaving a vast amount of homework for the students to take home. Lenalee, though had other tasks to complete - like dressing-up Allen before they go out shopping for Christmas presents._

_ "Lenalee. You know I don't like dresses. It's cold out there." Allen was backed on the corner while Lenalee was holding up the garment._

_ "But it's up to your 'standards' - long-sleeved, below-the-knee and all that. Come on. I have to wear things shorter than that even if it's freezing because it's easier to move around. Please… It's Christmas." Lenalee's pout was working its charm. _

_ Allen sighed and accepted the dreaded piece of clothing, intending to run away as soon as Lenalee let down her guard. "Fine." However, Lenalee quickly darted out of the room, before the other girl could, and put her weight on the newly-repaired door, pulling on the door knob. She never knew Allen had such fine skills in carpentry._

_ "Oh! And I'm going to style your hair a little bit!" Lenalee's voice came out a bit muffled from the other side of the door, simply refusing to let her out, amid Allen's pushing and pounding on the door._

_ "Since when did this specific Christmas shopping period actually become so special?", Allen asked to herself as she changed, wondering why she had agreed in the first place. _

* * *

"So… where are we going?" Lavi asked Allen, full of cheer. It was nearing Christmas and they decided to go shopping in pairs - Allen with Lavi, Lenalee with Kanda. It was Saturday, only three days after their last mission and Allen's left eye revealed signs of healing though it hasn't gone completely back to normal yet.

"You decide…" Allen seemed drawn to every person that passed them by. Her hair was braided by none other than Lenalee and she was forced to wear a dress which she hid with her coat.

"You're so nervous… why? Haven't thought of a gift for your Yuu-kun yet?"

Allen threw him a drained look that said, _Don't start again, please._

"You're not used to that kind of condition.", Lavi stated quite surely. It was, like, thirty minutes since they had separated from Lenalee and Kanda, and all Allen could do was look around at the shoppers warily.

"It's just that… I don't… can't trust anyone… Anyone can be an Akuma."

"So that's the disadvantage of having that 'cursed eye' of yours." Lavi gave Allen a friendly pat on the back, all the more convinced that it was for the better he didn't return the set of cards that he picked up. "Come on, don't be paranoid. Relax, we're in Tokyo - they don't pull those kinds of stunts anymore. It's like hollering to the entire world that a group of superhumans set on destroying the entire world exists. Their job would be so much harder."

"But -"

"That's what our coats are for Allen." Allen was painfully reminded of her master's words. She grimaced - everything she remembered about Cross was painful.

"We're not wearing our coats, Lavi."

"Well… then they won't detect us, will they?"

"But, what if - ?"

"We think like that every single day. So if we can manage it, you can."

Allen saw that there was no point in arguing and nodded, determined not to lose her mind.

"You look cute by the way, when you wear things like that… Wait, Allen! An akuma!"

She spun around, ready to activate her Innocence. People, just people. Loads of them. Taking a moment to regain control and not kill the laughing Lavi, she spotted a store that proclaimed "You name it, we make it!". She took a moment to note that it was across a KFC franchise before punching Junior in the guts.

* * *

_ "You actually think those would happen?" Lavi snorted, reading the doubts behind Allen's troubled and sad bearing, displaying confidence in his words. "Nobody could be more Kanda-ish than Kanda."_

_ Allen looked up startled by Lavi's "people-reading" skills. She settled back and quietly asked, "You really think so?"_

_ Lavi patted her yet again on the head. "Of course. You shouldn't go troubling yourself with what you don't believe. Not the other way around. Don't go putting doubts in your head that he's not him, 'cause it's him. I'm positive that you were the first to recognize that."_

_ "Then why?" _Why is he acting like that?

_ "I'm sure we've all got our reasons.", Lavi replied simply, winking at her, as he opened the door for her at a restaurant they would be meeting at._

* * *

After lunch, they had switched partners. Both Lavi and Lenalee had failed to know what the other two would give to each other or whether they would actually give anything - Lavi's prank not actually helping. Kanda, though, was even in a sourer mood than Allen, having Lenalee watch over every single one of his actions like a hawk. _Damn… I have to pick that thing up today._ He was carrying nothing because he didn't have any plan to give anybody a gift. Well, that was what everyone else thought, anyway.

He felt Allen staring at him. He replied with a raised eyebrow. The girl just shrugged as Timcanpy pulled at her hair.

"Hey, Tim, that hurts!" She twisted her head towards the direction the golden golem was pulling on. She couldn't believe her eyes.

"Jean?"

The boy's eyes grew wide. "Allen? What are you doing here?"

"Mission.", the girl stated simply. "And you? What exactly is a boy like you doing, wandering Tokyo on his own?"

Jean smiled, Allen sounded like his mother. "We're on vacation."

Allen felt happy for the boy. She had met him in France just before they had "recruited" Miranda Lotto, another Excorcist. Jean had almost died when his friend, Leo, turned into an akuma, having signed a contact to "resurrect" his dead mother. Were it not for Allen, Jean wouldn't be here. She was glad that the boy had recovered from the past because she herself had also seen a friend transform into an akuma and wasn't able to avoid it. Sometimes, she still thought of it.

"Where's your father?" Jean, if Allen recalled correctly, was the son of one of the scientists back at HQ, Mr. Russell, who could hardly keep the boy company. He was probably only able to procure a leave now. She turned around to look for said man.

The sound of shoes running on pavement.

"Jean, you - ! Come back here!"

* * *

Kanda inwardly let out a string of curses as he chased the beansprout, who was chasing the brat, who was doing his best to dart around and weave in between the crowds of people, who were either grumbling disapprovingly or crying out in surprise. Allen's hurried apologies rang out in the shopping centre whenever she accidentally bumped into someone. Most of the people had started to part and get out of the way before they were trampled over by the circus. Panting, she triumphantly gripped his wrist.

"Gotcha!"

"Not yet!" His free hand was about to throw something on the ground but another hand seized his other arm.

"Che. Don't even think about it." Kanda's limits were about to broken. He did not like some unknown kid suddenly barging in and needing to be chased halfway across the city. He took hold of the thing and inspected it. "What's this? And who's this?"

"Something I'm very familiar with." A very tearful experience it was. "It releases a tear gas derived from onions which makes the pursuer quite emotional." She looked disparagingly at the boy. "This here is Jean who, along with his onion bombs, I've had the pleasure to meet a few years ago." It absolutely didn't sound like a pleasure now.

"You decided to tour yourself, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"And Mr. Russell is around here somewhere, isn't he?"

Jean remained silent.

She added more force to her words. "Isn't he?"

He reluctantly nodded.

"Good. We'll go find him."

"I can find him myself. I don't need a babysitter."

In a clipped voice, she answered. "Considering your actions, I suppose you do."

"Just let him, moyashi." They've wasted enough time on this brat.

"No." The look she gave Kanda was unnervingly like that of a furious wife.

* * *

An hour and a half later, with bags of presents draped around her arms like adornments on a Christmas tree, she looked around for Jean and Kanda. She didn't know if they lost her, or if she lost them. After going to another shop to inquire about something, she arrived here. Something like a cosplay convention was going on and she was afraid to wander in amongst the armor, school uniforms, dresses and battle suits for fear of getting even more lost. She approached two teenagers who were just about her age. She figured it wouldn't be out of the way to ask for a long-haired samurai.

"Excuse me? Have you seen a man who is this tall with long hair and a katana?" She asked, waiting for an answer. The two boys were eyeing her hair curiously. "He's with a kid with an aviator hat." She added.

After a few seconds of recalling, one of them, pointing to a distant jewelry store, finally said, "I think I've seen them! They went that way!"

Before she could hurry, however, one of them asked what anime her cosplay was from. She absent-mindedly muttered "D.G.M." as she left, with no idea where she got the initialism from.

Watching the girl's back, the other remarked, "Hair kinda reminds me of Edward Elric though. Red coat, too."

"Yeah. Different hair color, though. Wonder if it's dye or a wig."

His companion nodded. The girl was already out of hearing range, hurrying to the store.

"Same height, though."

Once again, he agreed, snickering.

* * *

"If you tell anyone about this, I'm going to bring you to the station." He spared the child his usual threats of murder in horrific, grisly, high-def detail. After Kanda ditched Allen to go get the package he had ordered two days ago, they were finally looking for the moyashi, just leaving the store. Timcanpy was with them, forced inside the samurai's coat pocket, along with the important velvety box. Curiously, the jewelry shop they came from bore a resemblance to Tim's name.

Jean smiled wickedly at the man. "It's for her, isn't it? You're her boyfriend, aren't you?" He hated this man, Allen was more fun to be with. But he was stuck with him, so he had resolutely turned on tormenting the Japanese man, even if it meant risking his life, except, he had too much precious information that he could "accidentally" tell to Allen, to actually reach that level. He was wrong.

Kanda was about to kill the kid when he heard the moyashi's voice call, "There you are, BaKanda!".

The swordsman gave one last threatening glare at the kid before turning away, letting Allen catch up with him.

* * *

Kanda had once again caught the girl gazing at him with that same expression she had a while ago. Maybe, because it was Christmas yet again. Maybe, it was melancholy. Maybe, he didn't want to know what was going on beneath those brilliant gray eyes. Her lips opened like she wanted to ask something, but, she shook her head as if mentally scolding herself. He knew how wrong this was - not being able to comfort her, to pretend that they were strangers. He compulsively called out the nickname he had given her, wondering why he did and what he was supposed to say now that he had.

"Moyashi."

The eyes looked at him, the loneliness somewhat replaced with a hopeful longing. "Why? What is it?" _What is it you want to tell me?_

He paused not knowing what to do. He took a moment to consider what he was going to say, or what his self wanted him to say. He hated to disappoint her. But, he needed to stay well away from her. _If you get to close to her, you know it won't be good for the both of you._

"You look like you needed a little help with your bags." _Damn, what the hell. Idiot mouth._

She looked at him in astonishment blending perfectly with disappointment. "Well, thanks for offering.", she said shoving all of it at him, albeit a little bit to hardly. She did not know if it was sarcasm she heard in her own voice.

Jean looked at the both of them. "LQ.", he muttered.

The pair both looked at him. Kanda spoke first, "This is not some stupid sort of a lover's quarrel, you brat."

The kid ignored him and beseeched Allen. "Oh come on, forgive your honey. After all, he's got something to -" He felt a hand clamping on his jaw.

"I'm only saying that - ngf!" Jean had only momentarily removed the samurai's hand and was now fighting to get it off for a second time, prying and clawing at it like mad. Allen could not hear completely what Kanda was growling at to kid, but knew it included things like "cutting that vile tongue of yours."

She felt she could care less and she walked away, leaving the two bewildered. She didn't know why she felt like this - angry at him and at herself. Sad, too. She sighed.

Kanda looked at the girl. He let out a breath, too, feeling trapped by his own actions as the girl was also trapped by hers.

* * *

"Allen!" Jean's voice came out as a whisper, his footsteps pattering quietly on the pavement - the streets in this area were already starting to thin out, crowds were returning to their warm homes or filling their bellies at restaurants. She was already a few metres away from them.

She wondered why he was whispering of all times. Her coat was being tugged upon by the eager kid. _What?_

The kid was leading him to Kanda who was stooping down, gathering the numerous packages in his arms that lay on the floor scattered in the attempt to stop Jean's mouth.

"I heard kids in Japan like to play this game.", Jean was still whispering knowing for a fact that Kanda was bothered by the moyashi's actions and was still deep in his thoughts. There was still some distance between them.

Danger signs were flashing in Allen's mind. Especially now she had seen Jean's hands, aiming. _You're going to die!_

A shout of "Kan - !" and a pained yelp made Kanda look up as he got the last bag. "Che. What are you doing?" Allen was gripping and twisting Jean's hands for dear life. He was surprised the moyashi returned.

"Jean was calling your attention - he wants to go get some food.", Allen replied, all feelings of abandonment vanished being replaced by relief. She marvelled how fast she could actually think of an alibi. _Thank the heavens "Kanda" starts with "Kan-". If he even knew it was supposed to end with "- cho"…_ She shuddered not even daring to imagine.

"Che. As far as I could deduce, it's you who wants to eat not Jean. And you're twisting his arms too much, anymore and his bones would get dislocated." He had some inkling of what should have happened if it was not for Allen - but, he didn't care as long as no harm was done and the girl was brought even just temporarily out of her loneliness. He hated seeing her that way. He was causing this, he knew; it was worse than seeing her show a fake smile.

She let go of Jean's arms. "After I protected your precious ego and everything…", she whispered venomously under her breath.

"What did you say, baka moyashi?"

"I said hurry up, so you could treat us at this new restaurant I found."

"Who said I was going to pay?"

"Me. " She smirked as she trotted along a few steps ahead. _You owe me._

* * *

Her eyes were downcast, looking at the earth, her lips, slightly open in some sigh, looked as if it wanted some unspoken aria to be released, and her hair, freed from the tie, cascaded down her back in waves, emanating a faint, silvery glow against the ghostly background of the cold winter evening. They had already found Jean's father and after a hasty conversation between Allen and the harried-looking Mr. Russell, who seemed to come to conclusion that their vacation was a bad idea, they had decided to set off back home, Allen accepting that Kanda didn't want to give anyone anything. Her hands were clasped together as if in a prayer and once in a while she looked up as if waiting for something, though she was merely admiring the beauty of the skies, the sameness with her they brought with its muted, and at the same time, brilliant colors. _Maybe I should have brought her to a restaurant after all._ Thoughts like that were quickly dismissed by Kanda, who knew why she behaved like this. She had that same expression when it had neared Christmas and he would always catch her in _his_ hiding place, apparently doing nothing. As far as he was concerned, it was not nothing, snippets of conversation with her telling him that. He would always try to detach her from sadness by intense matches with practice swords at the training area.

"You celebrate your birthday on Christmas." It was a dead giveaway.

"Yeah… You got it from my records, huh?"

Kanda was taken aback to the moyashi's words and suddenly found that he could not go on with his confession. _What do I think I could say? "Hi there, I was only pretending that we were strangers, can we be friends, again?" Fuck._

"Che…yes. Let's go back. The other two are sure to be waiting for us to come back home."

The moyashi was not listening.

Her hand was outstretched, letting a tiny snowflake land on her palm after hundreds of them drifted slowly from the sky, like salt coming from a shaker.

"It's the first snow of the season.", she said, closing her eyes, numbed by the peace of the whiteness that was slowly starting to blanket the city. _A white Christmas. _The holiday was starting to turn into a routine, until this "stranger" named Kanda Yuu came.

He fell silent and watched for a while. After he let her have a few seconds of reflection, he repeated, "Let's go home, moyashi." and walked past her. _Do you actually think I want this? _He just wanted to know what she really thought of him as of this moment. Of course, that was near impossible.

Allen Walker looked up once again at the sky for the last time before doing as Kanda said, walking home.

_Why am I so affected? _

She had thought that she was able to walk away from those painful memories, those events that shattered any idea of "stability" in her life.

_But why do I feel like I'm returning to them? _

_Why does he have to remind me? _

_When I look at him, I see nothing but that person who changed me in that brief expanse of time we had been together. That's why I refuse to believe him, I deny what he says about us not ever meeting. Because we have - I feel it._

The response from that little voice in her head, however, made her breath catch in her throat, for it asked, _Do I really?_

* * *

.

* * *

A few days have passed. It was Christmas Eve. All the gifts to be delivered were sent, though quite late, and the things Lavi and Lenalee had sought hard to receive without them finding out were found out. Well, only one of them, at least. The hollow space was filled with the wafting notes from the room opposite his. The moyashi, coming back early from an "errand" Lenalee had sent her to and something else of her own business (regarding her inquiry at the store she saw), had caught them carrying the piano towards Lenalee's bedroom to hide it for tomorrow and she insisted on letting her use it at once, after they had eaten their Christmas Eve dinner. He was bothered, alright, not only by what he was doing to the both of them, but also, by sadness of the song and by how she had not noticed she had put the piano's volume up and how she was singing a bit louder than was necessary. She would not do that intentionally, especially during a time of sleep like this. Her voice was husky and low, sadness infused in every syllable, as it was the past hour, when she thought everyone had already slept.

_"From that time on, many years passed"_

Her eye had already healed, despite her fears. She did not use her eyes, though - They were closed, the lights were turned off, and her fingers danced over the keys.

_"And I've finally come to this place"_

She had forgotten what song this was. She didn't know she was singing. She didn't hear herself.

_"No matter how much I wish to return, I never move from this spot"_

She longed for the people lost to her. She had seen the lyrics of this song not so long ago and she couldn't get it out of her mind. Its meaning staying with her. She couldn't pass up the opportunity to let it out. No one will be able to know.

_"When I close my eyes, you are always there smiling"_

_As much as possible, she wanted to celebrate her Christmases normally._

_"Every time I remember that smile, tears flow from my eyes"_

_But, she never could because she met a person on this same day._

_"I am not strong enough to say good-bye to the past and move on"_

_He protected her from her assailants and he adopted her, taking her in as his own daughter._

_"Yet those memories are not flimsy enough to get carried away by the waves of time"_

_"My name's Mana Walker. And you?"_

_She remembered the name on the dog's collar. "I-I'm Allen.", she said, lying to the person she was going to owe her childhood to._

_"That's why I'll always..._  
_I'll never forget, wherever I am"_

_Surprise circus shows… Dinnertimes… His cooking…_

_"Whatever I do I'll always think of you"_

_Pranks… Getting lost… Getting laughed at after…_

_"Even if I lose sight of the road I already traveled"_

_Sightseeing around the world… Piano concerts… and sometimes, lessons, too._

_It pained her to see those places._

_"Even if I cannot return to those days, the footprints on the ground will always be there"_

_Presents… Bedtime stories… about happy endings…_

_"I will always wish that the day will come where we will meet"_

_Laughter. "Don't stop. Keep walking."_

_Then grief. As a bullet passed through her mirror of a long-shattered fantasy of happiness._

A tear slid down her cheek as she sang more.

_"And laugh with each other..."_

_She arrived at the Black Order a few month later, bearing a meekness unlike whom she was before. There was where she met him. Another person completely the opposite of her father. A bad-tempered boy by the name of Kanda Yuu._

Kanda was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling, overcome by the moyashi's song and he started thinking, along with her, of those moments before he left HQ.

_"As I go by the crowd of people, I thought I saw you"_

_"Introduce yourself to your new friends, Allen."_

_"I'm Allen Walker. I hope we could all be in good terms." She raised a hand in greeting._

_And amid the cheerful replies, she heard him saying, "Che. Like I want to befriend cursed people like you. Stupid moyashi."_

_"Even though I realized it was a mistake, I still couldn't believe it somewhere in my heart"_

_The first time to speak to him was the hardest as he pointed a sword at her. She had this impression of a madman. Circumstances changed, though, and it started with… she didn't know what._

_"I can't remember the warmth I felt touching your hands"_

_A helping hand to get her up as they ended another vicious match…_

_"If I meet you in my dreams then I would never want to"_

_That night of stargazing where she fell asleep on her coat-pillow as Kanda and Lavi competed for the most stars and constellations named…_

_"Wake up..."_

_Waking up to find nobody on the bed opposite hers._

_"Even if I tried to forget, the days I spent with you were so heavy"_

_She ran to catch up with him._

_"Kanda! Wait!"_

_He silently took the picture she was holding up, looked at her for a moment and said nothing, did nothing to comfort her against the bitter cold… climbing into the back of the car, promising nothing. Was this regret they were both feeling?_

_"Thanks." It was the last thing he said to her._

_And she cried, for there was nothing else she could do. The car was rounding a turning towards those gates that would forever shut him out._

_"It's rooted in my heart and won't go away"_

_This feeling she knew was longing, she missed those times when he was there to comfort her, sitting on that ledge, that solitary place they fought over… But now…_

_"I never knew walking alone was so lonely"_

_Is he not this person? Does he still exist?_

_"The footprints that used to be next to mine were"_

_Is he pretending? Or worse? Was that feeling of closeness that she felt would endure all those years…_

_"No longer here...?"_

_…All a lie?_

She was lost in a torrent of notes, a tempest of memories, and she was fighting the urge to cry. _I've already lost my father, not you, too?_

_Please be you._

Kanda remained silent as he listened to her play that long string of keys, one after the other. They had that hiding place, does she still use it…?

_"The things I saw, the things I felt"_

_Those two people that were dearest to her…_

_"All the things you showed me will always"_

_You would always stay in my heart._

_"Be with me no matter what lies ahead"_

_And even if you may not remember or know me anymore…_

_"Even if I fall, even if the road's gone"_

_I would always remember you._

_"I won't stop moving forward"_

_No matter what happens, the memories I shared with you, Mana, and you, Kanda…_

_"So please stay there with that same smile of yours..."_

_Will always keep me walking…_

_"I'll never forget, no matter where I am"_

_Because I still hope that we could someday meet again, and if we do not… _

_"Whatever I do I'll always think of you"_

_I'll dream about it and keep wishing for everyone's well-being including yours, wherever you are…_

_Her voice was cracking, broken by those possibilities…_

_"Even if I lose sight of the road I already traveled"_

_If I get lost, I know…_

_"Even if I cannot return to those days,"_

_…I just know, you'll help me back to a path…_

_"The footprints on the ground will always be there"_

_And maybe, I could find the path to you from there…_

_"I will always wish that the day will come where we will meet"_

_Still…_

Kanda wanted badly to admit this fraudulence he was committing… but he couldn't and all he could think of was to try to make her happy once again.

_"And laugh with each other..."_

_That remains to be seen._

As she continued playing the last couple of staffs, Kanda resolved to give his present early, sitting up and snatching the box from his bedside table.

A knock brought Allen back to the present, to reality. She looked hurriedly at the knob of the piano and reprimanded herself mentally for turning it up too high. She switched the lights on as she opened the door and saw it was Kanda. He had the most peculiar expression on his face - it was far from angry.

She prayed to the heavens, thinking up an excuse for why she was playing so loudly in the middle of the night, and such a sad song, too. "I'm sorry… to wake you up… I - " Her apology was cut off when Kanda suddenly took her hand, opened it palm up, and placed something on it.

"Here."

She looked down at it and when she returned her gaze to where Kanda was, she only saw his door shutting gently. Staying by the doorway, comforted somewhat by the light coming from her room mixed with the darkness of the corridor, she lifted the lid and saw a pristine necklace sitting innocently on its cushion. A silver cross with a diamond in the middle.

_Maybe, wearing one isn't a bad idea after all._, she thought, giving her first genuine smile that day as she closed her door behind her, shutting out the darkness.

* * *

.

* * *

She woke up to the white light streaming from the windows - she did not close the curtains last night. Winking blearily, it took her a few seconds to remember last night. She roused herself up and went to her comfort room for a quick splash and toothbrush, Timcanpy sitting on the sink and nesting back on her hair afterwards. She sat back on the bed to admire the necklace for a moment and was about to set it back to where it came from, when she decided to wear it. _I've always wondered how they lock such small clasps without seeing what they do._ After some fumbling with the miniscule lock, the cross now lay on her chest, as if it was some sort of amulet. She felt the points of the cross, speculating why it looked so unique from designs she had seen on displays. _Custom-made, perhaps?_ There was some rare joy she was feeling right now. During this holiday, she would always find an excuse to be alone, fearing that she might affect others with her damp mood. Today, it was different. There was still that melancholy, that wishful longing… but… she felt happy. She told herself it was because of the quiet, but, in her heart, she knew that it was because he had proven in some small way that he cared and maybe, knew her from before. She opened a drawer and got some gloves to cover her hands. It was the only thing that she consciously and habitually did for appearance. She returned it, remembering she would not be going outside this day, and withdrew a small box she was hiding there. _Should I give it? Should I just keep it? Would he take care of it? Or would he chuck it out of the window the moment he gets the opportunity? _She pouted and bit on her lip, still deciding. _He's so unpredictable. One minute, he's kind and the next, we try to kill each other._

A creak of a door resonated through the silence. Usually, Kanda would always be the first to get up to enjoy time in the absence of noise. Instantly, she sprang on her bare feet and padded towards her door and opened it a crack to see Kanda about to go down the staircase. She followed him, gripping her present, her mind void of anything she could say when she gives it. Her brain searched frantically as she saw him disappear around the corner.

Kanda was supposed to leave the middle landing when he heard a voice squeak out his name. _She's awake. And she's calling me "Kanda" now. What the hell is she up to? _He waited for her to get down, which was actually quite quick. She positioned herself in front of him as if to prevent him from leaving.

"What?"

_Annoyed as always I see._ She wondered why she could always think of replies even at times like this. "I just, er- I just…" _Calm down, your British is coming out. _It was a sign that she was nervous. That or maybe she didn't want to say thank you and give her present… Nah, she was nervous. A trembling, stuttering, stammering, heart-drumming nervous.

Kanda remained silent, nevertheless, still with his customary raised eyebrow.

"Er, I just want to say thank you… for this." She hadn't realized she was playing with the necklace until she mentioned it. She stopped. "I wasn't able to thank you last night because… er, I was a little surprised you'd actually give someone and something expensive, too." She was playing with it again.

"Che. It was cheap. So I thought I'd give you one." He didn't expect that she would wear it, especially not so early. Something told him that her practice of not wearing that kind of jewelry was because it reminded her of something painful. To see that she would wear it straight after he had given it - he felt gladdened, not to mention like he somehow fulfilled something.

_Liar_, Allen thought. "I won't tell anyone about this. So don't threaten me.", she murmured making that same small knowing smile.

He paused, taken aback by the thoughtfulness and how she knew his ways so much.

"I don't know why you gave me a cross pendant for, seeing as I'm not that religious."

Kanda looked as if wanting to reply indignantly, but Allen, cut him off, chuckling. "No, I know what it is." _A rose cross. Symbolized by a cross with a circumpunct or white rose at the intersection._

He was being made fun of, but seeing that the moyashi seemed somewhat more lighthearted now, he then said, though not as cold as he intended it to be, "Is that all?"

"Well, erm, there is one other thing. I, er… I wanted to give you this!" She said this sentence as quickly as possible so she could not back out. She thrust the small box at him, like a sacred offering. It fit in one hand but she held it up in both, because it was fragile and might break if her shaking hands let it slip. Her eyes were shut tight and her head bowed like she was protecting herself from a bomb after she had cut the wrong wire.

He took it slowly from her and pocketed it. "Thanks." It was a grudgingly articulated reply.

The girl looked up and smiled, relieved that he hadn't rejected it and slightly bowing, shyly said, "Please take care of it. It's not as valuable as your present, but, I wish you'd keep it safe." The bright smile and silver eyes stirred something inside Kanda and he felt warmed by it.

They stared at each other's eyes for a moment but their gaze was broken as the moyashi suddenly noticed something. "Well, uh, I guess that's all then." Her heart skipped a beat for a moment as she registered what it was. _Mistletoe!_ _Those two!_ She took a step backward as she had a fleeting imaginary vision of…

And her heart missed another beat.

Not because she had thought of them kissing.

But because she had not stepped on level ground.

She was falling. Her reflexes kicked in as she shut her eyes.

And her hand was reaching out for something to stop her from falling.

She found something.

But that something moved towards her as she pulled on it.

And _they_ both fell.

She put out an elbow to reduce the impact and the pain shot through it, as wood struck nerve. Her head banged on the last few steps as she slid down. She didn't hear similar sounds of hitting the floor that were not her own. She squeezed her eyes shut together even more to clear her head, making a small noise.

She felt a pressure on her wrist.

She felt that she was still holding onto that something.

She felt breath on her face.

Her eyes fluttered open and she took a moment to digest what she was seeing - it was clouded a bit by the pain.

Her vision focused and cleared. She held in a silent breath.

It was Kanda. _What was I expecting? A curtain? It's cloth I'm gripping right now - his shirt! What sort of idiot am I?_ Those self-recriminating thoughts jumped out of her mind as she caught hold of his eyes staring at her - they were different, not cold or dark. She just stared back.

_What am I to do? What to do? What… Just get away from me. Now. Before someone sees us. Please I'm begging you._ These were what tumbled through the disoriented space of the back of Allen's mind, but, of course, thoughts were only thoughts and could only be conveyed through means of telepathy, which they obviously don't have. Or through her eyes. But, apparently, hers were lost in his. Those eyes, that were sometimes black and sometimes midnight blue, like his hair, were centimetres away from her liquid silver orbs.

In some department of their minds, they registered that he was holding one of her wrists to the ground and her other hand was holding on to the collar of his shirt - she had jerked even more closer as she put out her elbow when they fell. He, as a reflexive countermeasure, had landed, straddling the moyashi to stop himself from crushing her to the ground.

A door opened from above.

* * *

_What fucking kind of fucking position have I been fucking forced into?_ Profanities zipped through Kanda's mind as he took in the events of the past fifteen seconds. No wrong, twenty.

Thirty.

A minute.

And a half.

_Get up. Remove her hand from your shirt and get up._, he told himself, but his muscles disobeyed him, the little willpower left to him evaporating as he caught the sight of the moyashi opening her eyes, crumpling up her face cutely as she did. _No. Not cute. Not cute at all. Now get up, threaten her with death, and stalk off. Do it, Kanda._ He was paralyzed, he knew, by the adorable little beansprout gazing back, with that same look of speechless astonishment and bewilderment he knew he also had on his face. _Do. It. Any moment know somebody will get out of his or her room and ask where that noise came from. If you get up now you could calmly explain that the moyashi fell on her own. Alone. Not with you in this compromising position. _He wondered why his body didn't seem to want to move. They were breathing on each other. A creak of the door opening. _You can still make it._

"Hey, what's the ruckus down there?" The cheerful voice of the wretched usagi. _I'm going to kill him if he tells on this._

_ Come on. Spare yourself the humiliation. Get up._

"You surely haven't fought because of the mistle - " Lavi's green eye could only stare. _Mistletoe, indeed. Oh my, what have we done? Lenalee. I've got to get Lenalee._

It was too late. All he and the moyashi could do was stare up at the shocked expression of Junior before he woke himself up and brought himself to action faster than a rabbit.

"Lenalee! LENALEE! LENALEEEEE!" His voice rang through the entire household as his feet pounded back up to second floor, dashing towards Lenalee's room.

And for good measure, he added, screaming, "Kanda! He's, he's - about to rape Allen!"

Now _that_ mobilized them. He sprang on to his feet to chase after the rabbit and was soon followed by the moyashi, who forgot about her headache and throbbing elbow almost immediately. Their dark evil auras herded the rabbit away from Lenalee's door.

"Baka Usagi! I'm going to fucking kill you!"

"Stop this, Lavi, right this instant! It isn't what you think!"

Lavi who was cornered at the end of the corridor, stopped cowering and perked up, surprised. "You mean you were willing?"

At this statement, the girl's eyes went wide as she caught on. Her expression cooled down to something that was even more frightening than a raw display of anger. This was something that promised a slow, painful, agonizing death. She smiled. And cracked her knuckles. "You really want to die, do you?"

"What's all that noise? It's Christmas morning!" Lenalee peered out of her door disorientedly, rubbing her eyes. Lavi took the advantage of the temporary distraction to dart in her room as the other two followed him, just as quickly. "What?", was all she could weakly say as she struggled with why they were making a mess out of her room. They were trampling the whole place, over her bed, past her, and around everything.

"Help!" Lavi passed her for another time, unable to stop because of his pursuers.

"What have you done again, Lavi?" She was shaking. _No._ She won't get angry. It's a time for joy. Not for strangling the three people who had worked to wreck her room better than a brigade of demolishers. She clenched her fists as Lavi gripped at her, using her as a human shield.

"I swear! It isn't me! I just happened to - " Lavi paused, taking a break from the aura the two of them were giving off. It was a force the world has never been a witness to - except for him and Lenalee, that is.

"To what?" Lenalee asked, her face, though still hidden in shadow, was showing signs of intrigue. _Was it the mistletoe? If I find out that this is another worthless thing, I'm not going to be able to hold out on Lavi._

"I can't say it… They're going to murder me! I see it in their eyes!" And see it in their eyes, Lavi did. They were glaring and threatening and blackmailing with them, saying unspoken but clearly understood messages.

"Just tell me. I promise I won't let them."

"Well…," Lavi glanced somewhat at them for a second. "I saw Kanda attempting to _rape_ Allen." It was rare to hear him using Kanda's preferred name and he was only doing so to appease him, if only a little. Judging from his sudden lunge at his direction, it was not working. Not one bit.

"Really?!" Lenalee asked Allen, abandoning her promise and leaving Lavi to his death sentence.

Allen looked at her disbelievingly. "_You actually believe the crap he said?!_"

"…Maybe?" Lenalee now completely ignored the murder happening in the background.

"No! That isn't it! What happened was I saw that mistletoe of yours…," She took a moment to direct this pointedly at Lenalee, sure it was her idea. "Then I stepped back, fell, grabbed him, and he fell, too. It was just that simple." Lavi skidded at her feet, looking for a white flag to raise, anything to stop the hell he had brought onto himself.

"Hmm…" Now Lenalee had the same look Allen had long since been giving Lavi. It was only half-meant, though. Although to Lavi she coldly said, "Next time, be sure of what you say so you don't get hurt.", she was actually thinking: _Lavi, Lavi! You've got to tell me this! Describe it in detail! I bet they were so cute! Let's get Timcanpy so he can replay it for us! _

Another thought struck Lenalee. _The boxes._ There were indeed boxes hidden in plain sight. Two under the bed. A large one beside the study table covered with cloth serving as a second desk. The discarded cardboard of Allen's piano was propped on a wall. "That reminds me… Lavi since you're responsible for all of this, you'll be the one to clean up this mess."_  
_

"What? Why me? Can't you see I'm in no condition to? Do you not have mercy on such handsome guys like me?" he replied in mock desperation, groveling on the ground, but he knew Lenalee Lee's hidden agenda. They were even now hatching a plan, a very secret plan. He was careful not to bump into those recently-shipped instruments.

Lenalee though became ticked off by his airheadedness and stepped on his hand hard using the sole of her boot as Kanda left and Allen sat on the floor, sighing contentedly, glad the riot was over. However, that faint blush stayed on persistently on her cheeks as her mind wandered repeatedly to that closeness, their noses almost touching. She shook her head, convincing herself it was only the head injury making her think about this, and left them on their own to get an ice pack from the refrigerator, not noticing the absence of Timcanpy.

* * *

.

* * *

They were at the living room and were handing the gifts they had bought to each other. Lenalee squealing in delight at the gifts they had given her - a collection of hair accessories from Allen and an adorable teddy bear to add to her collection from Lavi. Lavi was almost disappointed to see that he had only one gift from both of the girls and that it was a book, yet again, until he found out that it was not really a book at all - it was hollow in the middle, containing a scarf and a Swiss Army knife. He showed his thankful surprise by glomping Allen on the back and hugging Lenalee tight, which made her blush, gone unnoticed by the others. Allen was happy, too, with her gifts (a music book full to the last page with pieces and a headset) though she couldn't help but glance every once in a while at Kanda who was sitting on the couch, setting aside the presents without even bothering to open them. _I hope it didn't break._

* * *

"_I hate them," the boy suddenly said, out of nowhere. They were sitting side by side_ _at that same old windowsill looking at the same old trees. The girl looked up at the absurdity of the statement for there was nothing to hate here in the Order - that was at least for Allen. But knowing Kanda, he could be referring to the air for all she knew and she continued prodding the ground with her foot, wondering when he would actually love something._

_ "What exactly are 'they'?" she asked. There was nothing to do and she might as well pester Kanda about those things he "sees" while she was at it._

_ "Lotuses - bunch of bloody flowers."_

_ Allen was slightly intrigued by Kanda opening up somewhat before thinking, _As girly as his hair._ She had to stifle a giggle. _Guess that's why he's annoyed.

_ "What?"_

_ Catching Kanda's annoyed look, Allen quickly thought of a serious excuse as to why she would laugh at him. "Nothing, I just thought that you don't have to hate them so much, BaKanda, you should be thankful you actually see something beautiful. It's not always you find something worth cherishing in your life."_

_ "Why would I 'cherish' these things?"_

_ Allen didn't listen to his question and had already added, murmuring, "Lotuses are so much like you, Kanda." She wondered why she said that. It was so unconnected to what she had said earlier that it might have fallen from the sky. _

_ "What makes you say that, stupid beansprout?"_

_ "Well, I don't know, exactly. You're both silent, for one."_

_ "All flowers are silent."_

_ Allen glared at him disapprovingly like he was ruining a good part of the movie. She childishly and somewhat reluctantly continued, "And it's strong, living on water like that. It must be pretty hard. And because it's strong, you feel like you could depend on it. Though I guess it hates getting dirty… it doesn't get stained even when it grows from the mud and it likes solitary places like this - where nobody... bothers... it." She paused. "Do I bother you?"_

_"Sometimes. But not now."_

_Allen smiled hopefully at this and he quickly added, "But that does not make us friends. Get that in your head."_

_She laughed, seeing his embarrassment and said in reply, "Kanda, you always say that but you're the one who forgets."  
_

* * *

While the others weren't looking, Kanda took a look at the presents they gave him. He, however, gave extra care to the small box given by the moyashi. The keychain sparkled, as he lifted it up to his eyes to admire it. It was a miniature stained glass window depicting a lotus in a backdrop of black and cobalt panes.

* * *

_In lots of places, Christmas is a time, when we could wish for anything and hopefully wait for it to happen without getting ridiculed. We all have too many wishes to actually list them all and I am quite a contented person - I do not wish for anything that isn't really supposed for me._

_ But..._

_I do want to make a wish this time._

_It's probably time that I actually had the courage to ask this._

_If there is a God, I just want to ask... for..._

_... everyone to be happy and to get to return to their peaceful lives. _

_So that we could all laugh, one day, when this thing is finally over._

_I guess that's too much to wish for._

_It is impossible as it is improbable._

_Laughable._

_But I still hope._

_Because every human, I suppose, is entitled to a wish every now and then._

* * *

Allen saw how Kanda inspected her present from different angles, and she couldn't help but smile at the sight, the Japanese man actually appreciating something. She didn't expect, however, for him to choose this time to stop.

When he lowered it, he caught her looking.

He didn't know how but he found himself surprising the beansprout by smiling back.

* * *

**A/N: Done! ****I feel like I've deviated a bit from my style of writing. Like it's been written by different people. (It's so long that I'll have to apologize in advance for inconsistencies.) And if you're thinking that the angst is overriding the romance, you're somewhat right. Yullen's relationship would develop/thrive later in the story through this method. *laughs innocently* Nothing. (No spoilers, see? :p)**

**Oooh... Kanda smiled. =.= _Did you eat something besides soba today? *sigh* You two are so clueless about each other._**

**If you notice, I like line breaks and italics. Quotes next to the chapter title are made by me unless otherwise attributed to a specific person. I plan to write further song segments like what I did above, and ****decided not to include the Japanese lyrics, since I guess, it's given that it's in Japanese. ****Is it readable enough? Or confusing? [The centered lines are the song lyrics and the rest are thoughts or what's happening while she was singing.]**

**The reference to Edward Elric in the cosplay scene... was written because I've seen some forums and deviations regarding their similarities in appearance. Allen, I suppose, is mad because she insists on being taller. (_Sorry Ed, antenna hair not counted. But you grew taller at the end of FMA, didn't you? Allen should start wearing high heels, then._ :p I don't like them myself but I suppose that's why we have Lenalee.) **

**Timcanpy meanwhile is actually named after a jewelry brand so I saw it fitting to put it in the story. ;) **

**Now that I come to think of it, Wish by Sowelu (6th DGM ending) also fits the last part.**

**I'm doing every single one of my ninja moves to write this fic undetected so I really hope for r****eviews. :3 Do tell me what you think, please.**

**-Max Kiel**

**P.S. I think I'll write the next chapter using Allen in first person... I was actually planning something else but I felt that I should not proceed any further without giving off some background of her past lest you be confused forever by some points in the previous chapters. Thankfully, I think it would be shorter and easier to beta. I am also thankful to God because I saw that my hard work in school has paid off. Grades were just released. :) **

**Review~!**

**Update (11/18/12): Checked the chapter and saw that there were no double line breaks. Made necessary adjustments to make them visible.**


	6. CoT 05: Haze

**Chains of Time / Toki no Kusari**

**A/N: Hi! Thank you to those who favorited me, VioletAngelExorcist and KittyKika! I only noticed now because I barely check my email. Sorry and thank you once again to all those who ****reviewed**** and showed support to this story and to me! I'm touched. Truly, I am. ;)**

**This chapter was supposed to be in prose form but turned into poetry. (Don't ask me how that happened, I don't know, either! It was just supposed to be a quote. :o) ****Tidbits once again scattered here and there for you to connect with the other pieces from the last chapters. When I try to make a song out of this, it reminds me of those creepy music box tunes. I try to remind myself to get on with the music box version of the 14th's Song but... hmmm... **

**I might explain the symbolisms from the last chapter some other time. "." The school activities are stalking me.  
**

**Disclaimer: D.G.M. and any song you hear from me is not owned by me. And... the 217th (and 218th) Night is out~! I'm so happy... It's simply beautiful. Somehow, some ideas in this new chap coincided with my plans for the plot. *feeling glad and unsure about the fic at the same time***

**Anyway, enjoy! I apologize profusely for being a late updater. ^^ A very belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! (Yes, I don't care if it's too late.) :D  
**

* * *

**CoT 05:** **Haze** "Never tell the entire story for no one is able to."

_A never ending repetition of "I escaped from that place."_

_It was what crossed my mind for the first few days._

_Then darkness settled in,_

_Hope is turning thin._

_'Come and get me.' It was all that I said_

_To that voice echoing silently inside my head._

_A dog licked my hand softly_

_And my heart thawed gently._

_Taking the pendant on his collar;_

_Something was embossed in the copper._

_Another first name once again_

_As he sniffed the frosty lane._

_And I chased him, quick as a storm,_

_To that surname, so familiar, so warm..._

_A performing clown, so cheerful, so gay._

_It was nothing short of the light of the day._

* * *

I started to forget to remember

The need, to attempt to sever

The bond, the string, the thread,

And with that, it left, the dread.

I was tempted to forget the past -

Keep walking with him[them] till the last.

I was blinded by utter foolishness,

Preceding a consequence of such direness.

Too late, and too weak to take back

Anything left in the wake of black.

* * *

_I followed the dog this time, that winter_

_A few more steps to my father._

_Wondering anxiously why he took so late,_

_For that gift he promised...! Cruel it is, fate._

_Red seeping hastily through the snow..._

_It was horror unlike anything I saw._

_To the heart, a piece of metal_

_I was in utter mental denial._

_The silhouette turned to leave_

_I could not, however, forgive._

_Two kneecaps, two bullets collided_

_To the ground, the murderer was guided._

_Granted to the murdered, a peaceful last breath._

_Bestowed to the assaulter, a brand new threat. _

* * *

Run! Go! Turn away quickly!

He's knocking at your sanity!

What age was I again?

I thought I knew it then.

Forget and dream and relive!

Never let yourself a brief reprieve.

Come hastily now, come all!

Welcome to this wonderful ball!

* * *

_A quarter of a year in my mind_

_And in spring released from my bind._

_A new person I was once more._

_Such a different take on a lore._

* * *

Following the long strides of this man;

It was absolutely not part of the plan.

* * *

_Summer it was when I came to one more dwelling._

_They greeted me with smiles, so kind and knowing._

_Knowing, perhaps, about what I had undergone,_

_I smiled back at them politely, subdued, a pawn._

_It reminded me so much of the very first home I had lived in,_

_I questioned if my stint here would be a replay, much to my chagrin._

* * *

_._

* * *

A glow of green and a hovering knife.

What was to become of what was my life?

I cried out for mercy, for someone to help.

No one, however, heard a single yelp.

We were deep underneath the garden and the earth,

Who would bother with a child's(?) sense of worth?

Full of irony and absolutely cruel, this is really!

That I would be using that which they gave me

To "destroy", in order to preserve, to save.

On me, I swear, the opposite they can never engrave.

Upon this gun that was entrusted to me,

I promise to immediately stop this folly!

* * *

.

* * *

_"It was unfitting - the name of this safe haven."_

_A thought as I adjusted to mending the once broken._

_Looking out of the window, at the changing horizon._

_The sun brightens; it was hope's finest beacon._

_Presently, it is still unclear if this was a windfall._

_In another __era__, in another __time, I was a doll._

_I search for myself under the summer sky._

_Only to fall asleep underneath a sigh._

_Still it was better than crying and weeping._

_I could at least content myself with smiling._

* * *

_I wandered around, a vagabond, looking for a place of solitude._

_Who found me there? None other than my tester of fortitude._

_He threw me a look of great annoyance._

_I returned it. _Why is he such a nuisance?

_We fought and trained and argued regarding everything._

_He threatened and hated and injured anything._

_But deep inside, I sensed he was the most injured of us all._

_Though he would tell nobody for nobody could break his wall._

_For a brief time, we might have gotten to know each other._

_However, I might have told him more than I should ever._

_We looked at each other as he stepped in._

_And left us, me. _He was really that mean.

_I could have stopped him, could have tried._

_But years have passed and tears have dried._

* * *

Three bright points glittering in the night -

I always look for it as my guiding light.

My compass point to you.

Of course, you never knew.

* * *

_Now there was this boy, who had arrived_

_Somewhat a bit earlier than the me who survived._

_His eye was as keen as there ever was._

_Would he identify this suspicious lass?_

_Apparently "not" was the fortunate answer_

_And we all grew at ease with one another._

_Although he went away from time to time,_

_He would always try to come back at the chime._

_Admittedly, he has changed into so many names_

_Those moments seemed to us little more than games._

* * *

Nobody knew each other's genuine nature.

We tiptoe around friendship's beckoning allure.

But the temptation to do so was so great.

To choose to care, ourselves we must berate.

* * *

_And here was this girl, so kind and sweet; yet,_

_No one would guess the horrors she had met_

_She toured me around and then gave me a hand_

_So I'__d, here, in my own person, be able to stand._

_Knowing this sanctuary the most,  
_

_She would usually play the host  
_

_To the newcomers who might see what she had seen,  
_

_Host to whatever new farce played on this screen.  
_

_She stopped attempting to become free  
_

_For only these were left to cherish and see  
_

* * *

To free ourselves, I could not

For just like her, I have but

Only these people to care about,

So we try to withstand this route.

* * *

_Flowers blew away in the wind._

_Sunlight looked at me and grinned._

_Tears already had reluctantly fell.  
_

_Ice was next, I almost could tell.  
_

_The above has repeated for more than a decade's half  
_

_With a hundred of other emotions for every laugh  
_

_And I can not help but to think,_

_While looking for some more ink,  
_

_What line should follow,  
_

_So that this poem could flow  
_

_From an alternate perception,  
_

_To a different direction?  
_

_Thus, continues a pirouette  
_

_With no new pen to write with yet.  
_

* * *

**A/N: Yeah! Finished. I'm proud of myself and no, I did not do this on my own. I have Google and Thesaurus to thank for. I don't care about the metre and syllabication. And the parts that look out-of place are really part of the poem.**

** I wonder why I can't do this type of thing when asked to make a poem at school. Inspiration does drive people forward, then.  
**

**I know. I've been away for almost three months. Sorry. You probably thought that I dropped this thing. What matters now is that I appeared again. I may or may not be able to update the next chapter for a long, long time. Priorities are priorities especially since I'm off to college. I apologize. Sending me some love could make me work on this quicker as soon as I can. :p *nervously awaiting the results of the college entrance tests*  
**

**Oh well. :D Chapter 5 finished. CoT storyboard two-thirds on the way. A draft on the first chapter of Entropy's Vessel. Starting on the translation of Musika. And still chest-deep in "to-do"s.  
**

**sI've also completed a chapter set almost near the end of this fic. "Bwahahaha."/s  
**

**Well, at least I'm happy. And I wish you are, too. :3****  
**

**Hope you liked it,  
**

**Max Kiel  
**


	7. CoT 06: A Song Wafting Through The

Road asked Tyki in a low voice, "How did Allen come to hate us so much?"

To that he answered, "I don't know either. It just seems we can't become friends with her anymore... Well then, Road, guess I'll see you later."

"Where're you going?"

"I just want to make sure its official." He won't play fair anymore now he knew that she had become the dirty cheating traitor she was meant to be.

"Hey! I want to join! You can use my door!"

* * *

**A/N: The awkwardness from these two... It's cute and frustrating at the same time. ^^ I'm not a romantic person, so yeah. It makes me wonder why I wrote this. To quote Allen Walker in this chapter. "This is corny." And to those who read, followed, reviewed, and favorited, I'm really sorry for such a long break.**

**Disclaimer: Featured song here is by Supercell, "Kimi no Shiranai Monogatari". Also inspired by "Hoshi no Matataku Konna Yoru ni" (The Stars Twinkle On A Night Like This) by the same band. Both of these were sung by Nagi "Gazelle" Yanagi.**

**Wait. I almost forgot I do not own -man. And I also want to let Hoshino-san know that I love her even though she's 3 months late on the update. T-T *manly tears***

* * *

**CoT 06: A Song Wafting Through The Rarely Opened Window** _"It's good to let the rain pour in every once in a while."_

* * *

_"Hey Lavi, Lenalee, what are you doing there?" Her cheeks were pink from the cold and she dropped the bag full of vegetables and whatnot on the kitchen table._

_"No, Allen, don't -! Arrgh, too late." Lavi was heaving the upper end of the box towards the landing while Lenalee held the other end._

_"Erhmm... what's that? I mean, I know it's a Casio keyboard - keytar, by the looks of it. But, what's it for?" _

_Judging by her statement, it was clear to them that her eye was recovering great._

What now?_ Not wanting to blab out some non-realistic lie, Lenalee looked hopefully at Lavi as he waited for the cogs of his mind to work out an answer._

_"It's from the Science Department." _

_Lenalee looked at Lavi incredulously. _What? mouthed Lavi, defending himself. _"The Science Department." Allen eyed the keytar curiously._

_"Well, um, actually I kind of called up Section Chief Reever and asked if they could send the piano from that old music room here so you could have something to do while you're healing. Well, it seems they threw in a bit more than expected so we've got apparently a brand new keyboard here." Lavi smiled tightly at Allen, knowing he hadn't saved his face for Lenalee at all. "But it seems you don't need the little recreational activity, so... if you don't mind, we'll keep it somewhere safe for you." _

Oh why, why does she have to come in while they were on the last box? Now Lavi, don't blame her - blame the delivery truck for being late.

_"Hey, I want to use it! I don't want to waste their effort of sending it to me!"_

_Lavi could almost see Lena visibly sweatdrop. _Problem was they left the other packages outside her bedroom, exposed for the world to see in the corridor because they couldn't think of somewhere else to hide them.

_"Well, we'll bring it up to your room for you, then, and assemble it so you'll be able to play it as soon as we're finished. And don't bother to go upstairs to help; just sort out those things you brought, will you?", asked Lavi in a somewhat higher-pitched voice. "And don't bother thanking Komui and the others, we've already thanked them for you!"_

_Allen could only stare as he and Lenalee brought the piano up the stairs like they were doing something they weren't supposed to do._

Weird, _she thought as she went to carry out the task wondering if she could eat mushrooms raw._

* * *

And that, dear humans, is why Lenalee had to hide two electric guitars, a couple of distortion kits and amplifiers, and a few music books to practice on inside her bedroom. (The drums were available for use in the school's music room, thank goodness.) _And no! Lavi just can't accommodate _these _because he already made his part by thinking of that brilliant excuse. Because he's the Bookman Junior and he's got all those books to keep in his bedroom (which actually could all fit in a corner if stacked up to the ceiling) and anymore than that it would be full! Because he's handsome... because... because..._

So Lenalee just agreed to it than listen to the other half of Lavi's 101 "brilliant excuses".

Well, besides that, Allen just didn't get the hang of the keytar and is still playing it like a normal keyboard with her desk as its stand, armed with a few sheets she printed from the net and her meager piano skills that sounded well because she simplified the staffs and such, cancelling away the complicated, almost unheard, notes with a pencil and rewriting it again. It was really only the Musician's Song she could play without conscious thinking.

* * *

You see, as you have read (which is just like seeing, mind you), Lenalee and Lavi have a plan and they were now on Phase II.

"Well you see, Mr. Principal, I really hoped we could have a stargazing activity this month and maybe a number or two before lights out."

"Well you see, Ms. Lenalee, it's very impractical, seeing as we don't have astronomy in this school."

"Earth Science covers astronomy and I do believe that the Student Council should be given the right to hold new programs and events like this."

Being popular in school helps at times. They had arrived a week before the election for the officers of the student council and she, surprisingly, won as president without even campaigning for the position._ Allen will probably end up regretting she nominated me._

"Still..." The principal was worried about the riot that would ensue in a single overnight stay of around five hundred noisy high school pupils.

"It would be a great way to establish camaraderie between students in an education-centered activity." Lenalee added in her new and improved I'm-really-really-begging-you look, gleeful to see the principal deflate defenselessly. The principal may be old but he was really open-minded.

"I'll bear that in mind."

"And I've also got one thing to discuss to you... which might be why I want this to happen - I want to make our last few weeks here memorable."

"What was that again, Ms. Lee?"

Lenalee continued in a lower voice than usual, handing in a couple of forms as she talked.

* * *

"What's the hold-up?"Allen asked furiously - she was going to be late for her class. "It's not on my bucket list to get scolded at by the grumpy math teacher first thing in the morning, you know." The two formed a human shield in the school hallway.

"Well, if that's the case..." Lavi began. _Phase III!_

"We'll leave you be." Lenalee smiled as they broke the wall and walked away. However, she allowed herself, just as they were away from sight down a stairwell, to holler out, "The SC will host a stargazing event a few more weeks from now and they'll be expecting a song number from you! We'll practice tomorrow."

Allen stared at the now empty corridor._ Star... gazing? Song... number. Seriously, what did I do to earn this?  
_

The school bell rang.

* * *

These all happened yesterday. She hated herself for being so gullible. _Really, from the Science Department?_

Her eyes open and stared at the ceiling. _Looks like I'm tired of the wall. _She grinned.

_I was singing there... _

Indeed, she had been singing. Instead of Lala, it was her - alone at the hidden city of Matel. There was something there... what was it?

_I thought I knew it then._

Her brow creased as she rummaged her mind for the source of that phrase. It always failed her at times like this.

Nothing changed - She stopped after ten seconds - give or take a few.

_Speaking of singing..._

She buried her head under a pillow just as the door creaked open and she heard more of the singsong voice calling her.

"Allen~"

"I don't want to! Leave me alone!" _Really lying about the piano and all that - I almost did call Reever. Never mind that - it seems they want to form a band. Just for a single stupid number she knew she wouldn't be able to do.  
_

"Sorry. We've already arranged it." Lenalee had already entered her room and pulled off the blanket, and gave Moyashi-tan a not-really-apologetic smile.

"Why do I even need to do this? You can sing."

Lenalee appeared not to hear it and sat down on her bed just as Allen sat up. She found it hard to explain why and took on a different approach.

"I... once used to see a lonely girl... who would always look up at the skies when we went home - even more during the summer. She would do so while taking up the steep stairs to our apartment in France or while crossing the street in Spain. Even more, when we were still in London. No matter how tired she was, she would smile and exclaim how clear the skies were once she sees the stars, and she would frown if they weren't. I've watched how she would crane her neck, admiring those pinpoints in the darkness when she hadn't normally paid them the slightest bit of attention... and every time I see her I feel sad for her and for the one she misses. When they met again, I wanted to make sure he remembers her. No matter what."

Lenalee stood up and left a couple of music sheets on her blanket. When she closed Allen's door, the last thing she saw was the girl still sitting up in bed staring at some point in the past, stricken by her story.

_I'll go buy some mitarashi dango for her._

* * *

_She woke and saw that the top bunk opposite hers was unoccupied._

_She climbed down and saw that his drawers were empty and left open. He had packed hurriedly._

_She took her coat, their pictures were still in its pocket - she wanted something to give him._

_She got outside and saw him striding as fast as he can to the driveway._

_She ran. "Kanda!"  
_

_He didn't stop and instead walked faster. He was so close to the car._

_"Kanda! Wait!"_

_This time he stopped and turned to face her. Suddenly, her words were lost and whatever unsensible thing she was going to say to stop him were overcome by one simplistic word. "Here." We met __here_... Please stay _here_... Let's meet _here_ again...

_A picture was held out, a medium where they could place their pain in._

_"Thanks."  
_

_It was the first time he said that to her. Probably the last, too._

_They looked at each other. _

You'll always be _here_ in my heart.

_The girl melted the snow with her tears, regretting that she hadn't done, couldn't do anything to stop him. It was regret, frustration, bitterness that she let someone slip away again. _I don't even know what would happen to him. Where will they take him? Why didn't he tell us? I've let something terribly wrong happen.

_She swore to herself that if they ever met again and this would happen again, she would act._

_Meanwhile, the boy looking at her diminishing figure from the back of the car wasn't even sure whether they would meet again, but he would always remember her. Always._

So why doesn't he? Even when they had already met?

* * *

Kanda was absolutely detesting whatever scheme the rabbit was cooking up. Here he was typing something and he came bursting in without his permission. He closed the laptop abruptly not knowing if his work was saved and was now being persuaded by Lavi to do this.

"Oh come on, Yuu. We all know you could play guitar."

"Fuck you. How would you know? You never saw me play."

_I can call you Yuu now? Sweet. _"Sure I did. When we were little. In that old little music room in the recreational building where we used to sleep in. You were the only one who could pluck and strum the strings decently."

_What recreational building?_ "I don't know what you're talking about." It was half-true. He definitely knew nothing about a recreational building. _Must be the residential quarters before._

Lavi had seen the spark of curiosity that momentarily appeared in Kanda and he baby-talked him, saying, "Oh, he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Drop the act, Kanda." _I am pleased to announce that I, Lavi, am immune once again to his death threats._

He growled, some of his anger towards the stupid rabbit, some towards himself. _Why do they always have to prove, to prod at his face, that he was really no good in acting? The theater club moderator told him that. Now, Lavi. Shit, even the moyashi told him that before.  
_

"I told you that I have not met any of you. And if you tell me that I'm lying one more time I promise that I will strangle you - even without Mugen." He wanted the baka usagi to leave. Now. He didn't care if the rabbit had hidden his sword. He'd go look for it later.

_Really Yuu and Allen do make a pair. They're both stubborn._ "Well," he said, getting ready to leave. "I'll just leave these-" He motioned to the guitar, amplifier, and distortion kits placed neatly at the foot of Kanda's bed. "And this-" He put a flash drive next to Kanda's laptop. "-in your care, so you could practice. But really, you should just confess already so we don't have to go through all these. We could tell the principal that we could cancel our plan, you know?"

He called out as he left, "You really should be looking for your beloved Mugen, Yuu-chan! You might not see it again."

Kanda growled, his anger simmering, more with anxiousness than annoyance. As soon as he was sure no one would bother him again, a frown knitted his brows as he concocted up a report to send. He reread it and wondered if it was enough.

_This is all to the best of my knowledge..._

He would just worry about his sword and that song later.

* * *

___You really don't want to leave your seat, don't you? What are you hiding there?_ Lavi was itching to know what Kanda was doing and he slid back into his room...

_Takatakatak..._ He was typing the keyboard methodically fast. _And what is he typing?_ Just one more step...

_Squeak. _

_Ah, shit._

* * *

She decided to put the practice away from her mind as she counted, doing her favorite morning exercise: one-hand vertical push-ups on the back of a tilted chair. However, she quivered, losing her balance - she had already encountered almost crashing down more than once. _What's wrong with me? _ She glared at the music sheets that were right in front of her. _Okay, Allen, _focus_. Maybe a hundred more, and you're good._

"...two hundred seventeen... two hundred eighteen... two hundre- woah!"

This time she did fall over. The floor was shaking. She deduced that it was another minor earthquake again (which is really a normal, nothing-to-be-afraid-of phenomenon in this country) yet it was accompanied by another familiar occurrence in this household - the swearing and thumping of footsteps all over. The air was filled with the sounds of breaking china and rabbit bones. Music for Kanda.

_"You fucking had to spy on me, you fucking asshole!"_

_"Shit, Kanda, it was only a joke, a joke I tell you! Why'd you leave your door open anyway?"_

_Well. That's it then. No more push-ups for me then. I'll just do this wretched assignment then._ She plugged in her earphones to the piano and began to study the staffs. She sighed. _This will take forever._

She heard more swear words. Lenalee_ will kill them both for sure. _she thought. Lavi had hidden Kanda's sword in Lena's immaculately clean room. _It'll be ripped again in shreds by the time she gets back. She should get some stain remover, though; by now, Kanda would already have a screwdriver or something to plunge into Lavi's neck._

* * *

_"Let's have a contest. We'll take turns in naming the most stars we can see in the sky."_

_"Che."_

_"You must be afraid you'd lose. Coward."_

_"It's on."_

_"North Star."_

_"The Summer Triangle - Deneb, Altair, Vega."_

_Lavi looked at him, mouth gaping open. He hadn't thought of that. _

_"Who said I can't name constellations? It's a group of stars."_

_Soon they were naming every single constellation they could remember from the library. And the list had ran out._

_The way they became stuck in their helpless situation was funny and cute._

_Allen couldn't help it and giggled, Lenalee caught the contagious laughter, and soon they all had. Even Kanda, though he tried to hide it from the others. Allen saw it though.  
_

* * *

She sang the lyrics in her head again and remarked under her breath, "This is corny. Corny, corny, corny." _And what are those last few stanzas even for?_

No matter how she repeated the word "corny" though, it still didn't seem to be. Mainly, because Lenalee was quite the planner when it came to everything and she had chosen the perfect song. With matching perfect title. Guaranteed to plant guilt into any inconsiderate man's heart.

_"Kimi no Shiranai Monogatari", _The Story You Don't Know by Supercell.

_Don't you really?_

_If I learn that this is all just a joke, I'm going to slap you - one for every single day you could have returned - and ten for every day you pretended not to know me - I mean, us._

She did her best not to look at BaKanda while thinking this.

"What's corny, moyashi?" To his great frustration, the beansprout was smart enough to pause whatever she was playing on her phone as they rode the elevator. And he still wasn't able to send his report. The servers kept timing out - it never happened before.

Sorry, Kanda, no hint for you today.

"Whatever I'm going to sing." Kanda had to frown at her smart-ass answer. Her headphones were silent, nothing to be heard. She shrugged, "Sorry, Lenalee told me to keep it a secret."

He didn't speak. After everything, she still had the spunk to apologize.

They stepped out of the elevator towards the practice room, carrying their instruments. He deduced from the moyashi's air of unconcernedness that the song was really nothing special.

"Che. We're never going to be able to practice with you really singing out the lyrics, are we?"

"Nope. You'll have to make do with the piano melody. Guess, we've really no choice but to follow those two."

Mugen was still missing. Kanda wondered what they threatened the moyashi with. He never took her as the type that performed in front of the stage fearlessly.

What he didn't know was that Allen was doing this on her own, fueled by resolve that she had unknowingly, gradually built up in her heart, subtly changing her don't-worry-I'm-fine attitude. Because she wasn't, she knew that by know.

They entered the music room for their final practice.

* * *

"Lenalee, I was wrong. I don't think I could do this." They were already dressed up in kimonos, ready for the stargazing "festival". The noise of the audience was dominating Allen's senses and flooding up her "resolve".

"You can."

"No, I can't." A thick something was rising up her throat. Phlegm or vomit, whichever it was, it was making it hard for her to speak. She was so, so nervous. And everything in her body was acting up. Part of the reason why was that she ate only a plate of food for lunch six hours ago. She felt weak and the keytar felt heavy.

"And for a number before you head to your respective classrooms for lights-out!"

Allen's heart dropped. It was already their call. Lenalee made her way to the stage. She was going to play rhythm, Lavi the drums, and Kanda the lead.

"I'll go ahead. Think about it. You don't want to let him go again, don't you?"

_She's right._ Without doing anything to calm herself, she got up from the backstage and took her place in the middle of the glaring lights, her knees trembling, her hands stiff.

She took a look at Lenalee and Lavi, trying to draw out some strength. Lavi mouthed, _You can do it!_ That was able to make her smile a little bit and grab in some air before she started to sing - she couldn't wait anymore; anymore than that and she would not be able to do this. She had to do this; she needed to do this.

itsumodoori no aruhi no koto...  
"On that ordinary day...

She swallowed a bit and paused a bit in playing. _Baby steps, Allen, you can do this._

kimi wa totsuzen tachiagari itta -  
"You suddenly stood up and said -,

She took a deep breath.

『konya hoshi o mi ni yukou』  
"'Let's go stargazing tonight!'

She didn't dare look at anybody and let herself be absorbed by the music. There was no holding back now.

Kanda almost forgot to start playing. _I never..._

『tamani wa ii koto iunda ne』  
"'You get good ideas once in a while, huh?'

nante minna shite itte waratta  
"Everyone said and laughed.

akarimonai michi o  
"We joked around and walked

bakamitai ni hashaide aruita  
"Like fools on that unlit path,

kakaekonda kodoku ya fuan ni  
"So we wouldn't be crushed

oshitsubusarenaiyouni...  
"By the loneliness and anxiety we held...

That was what she felt now.

He gritted his teeth and controlled himself. _This is torture._

makkurana sekai kara miageta  
"Gazing up from the pitch black world

yozora wa hoshi ga furu youde  
"The night sky seemed like it was raining stars.

itsu kara darou kimi no koto o  
"Since when I wonder,

oikakeru watashi ga ita  
"Have I been chasing after you?

douka onegai  
"Somehow, please,

odorokanaide kiiteyo  
"Don't be surprised and listen

watashi no kono omoi o  
"to these feelings of mine.

"are ga DENEBU, ARUTAIRU, BEGA"  
"'There's Deneb, Altair, and Vega.'

_Even this?_ he thought, stricken, but he continued plucking the strings.

kimi wa yubisasu natsu no daisankaku  
You pointed out the summer triangle.

oboete sora o miru  
I remember and look at the sky.

yatto mitsuketa orihimesama  
Finally found Orihime-sama,

dakedo doko darou hikoboshisama  
But where's Hikoboshi-sama?

kore ja hitori bocchi  
That's a bit lonely.

Her voice began to crack.

He wanted to stop this, but he won't give up.

tanoshigena hitotsu tonari no kimi  
Next to you, who was having fun,

watashi wa nani mo ienakute  
I couldn't say anything.

hontou wa zutto kimi no koto o  
In truth, I had already

dokoka de wakatte ita  
Realized my feelings for you some time ago.

mitsukattatte  
I found them,

todoki wa shinai  
but they'll never reach you.

damedayo nakanaide  
"It's no use. Don't cry."

sou iikikaseta  
That's what I told myself.

She couldn't take it anymore.

He couldn't take it anymore.

tsuyogaru watashi no okubyoude  
I bluffed in my faint-heartedness,

kyoumi ga nai youna furi o shiteta  
Acting like I had no interest.

dakedo  
However

mune o sasuitami wa mashiteku  
That prickling pain in my chest, growing...

aa souka sukininarutte  
Mn...that's right.

kou iu koto nan dane  
Falling in love is like that.

She pounded on the keys with no care and tried to steady her voice. But the instrumental made it even worse. It still trembled as she sang the next verse, but it was no longer because of anxiety. It was pure loneliness. She knew that now.

doushitai? ittegoran  
"What do I want to do? Please tell me.

kokoro no koe ga suru  
"There was a voice in my heart.

kimi no tonari ga ii  
"Being beside you is enough.

shinjitsu wa zankoku da  
"Reality is harsh.

iwanakatta  
"I didn't say it.

ienakatta  
"I couldn't say it.

nidoto modorenai  
"I'll never get another chance.

Her fingers stumbled on the keys.

He knew what he had to do now. He didn't care anymore.

ano natsu no hi  
"That summer day,

kirameku hoshi  
"Those sparkling stars

ima demo omoi daseruyo  
"Even now I still remember.

waratta kao mo  
"That laughing face,

okotta kao mo  
"And that angry face,

daisuki deshita  
"I really loved them.

okashii yo ne  
"Strange isn't it?

She couldn't stop it. She wanted to let it all out.

wakatteta no ni  
"Even though I knew that...

kimi no shiranai  
"You didn't know,

watashi dake no himitsu  
"The secret only I knew.

yoru o koete  
"That night long-ago

tooi omoide no kimi ga  
"In a distant memory,

yubi o sasu  
"You pointed,

mujaki na koe de...  
"And with an innocent voice..."

_...I laughed._

She ended the last few bars of the song and swiped her hand over the piano as the audience cheered, most of them wondering why Allen sounded like she was crying, some taking it as part of the presentation. Some groaned, for it was already time to sleep. She didn't notice anything and all she wanted was to leave the stage as soon as the lights went dim. She might have messed up some of the parts but she didn't bother and she didn't even know which parts they were. It was only now that every single line in the song brought out that kind of effect on her because she never paid attention to what they meant, because she never wanted to face what it meant.

She tried to smile but couldn't.

* * *

Kanda saw the moyashi leave and followed her hurriedly, the guitar he had been playing hastily removed from him and handed to Lenalee, nothing thought about.

"Moyashi!"

"I want to be left alone, Kanda." It was formal and stiff, but most of all, it was a miserable reply, one that already knew that she would have her hopes up high and be dropped again. She went on her way, looking up, willing her tears not to fall.

"Would you just stop for a minute?" He was exasperated from chasing her all over the school grounds.

"Why should I?" This one had a defiance to it but it dropped back as it said, "You don't have to force yourself to do this if you really don't remember me."

"Allen Walker, I'm sorry."

She stood rooted to the spot even more than when she was onstage.

"I knew a lot of things about you that I didn't want others to know. I admit it now."

Allen faced him, tear-streaked, full of questions on her half-opened mouth. Her voice was weak as she disorientedly asked, "How-?" She changed the question, the corners of her mouth twitching. "Why-? I thought..." Before she continued, she decided to first ask, "Is it really you?"

"Yes."

Her face crumpled up as she brought up a few more questions while she still could. "H-have you been pretending? Or have you really-?"

"I've been pretending - but it was not without a reason." He added that quickly.

Allen didn't have the heart to slap Kanda. Instead, her heart let out a wail of relief that overcame every other thing as she threw herself at that man she vowed never to hug and sobbed whole-heartedly on to his clothes.

Kanda was utterly bewildered by her reaction and found himself awkwardly embracing the little beansprout back.

She screamed at him. "I was thinking of so many damn stupid things! I thought something bad happened. And it turns out you were fooling me! Damn you! I was in a state of denial! I actually imagined an accident! You IDIOT!"

He patted her back, awkwardly still. How could he have known that he was causing her so much pain? State of denial? He thought the moyashi saw through everything.

She sobbed even harder, clinging on to the hems of his attire. "Damn, at the very least I thought you had an accident from the experiments you told me about." She softly said one more time, "Why?"

"I..." He wanted to tell her but fear seized him. "I can't tell you."

"I understand." She drew away from him and smiled tentatively. _What matters is you're here. _She had already overstepped the boundaries, and she didn't want Kanda getting the wrong idea._  
_

"I don't mean that you having an innocent voice, though." She added, grinning. "And that bit about.. that part about falling in love. Sorry," she said abashedly. _I'll settle for friends._ Her eyes were bright, regaining the shine it was losing for these past months.

Kanda didn't know how to act. He lost his cool and confessed to know her. _I thought for a moment..._ _Of course the lyrics are not real, stupid. Well now you know what it feels like - being led on. That's karma for you._

"I knew that." Allen now felt a part of what Kanda had. But, what she said was only half-meant, wasn't it? However, her thoughts were lost in the smile Kanda gave her as he said, "Let's go stargazing again. The winter constellations are good, too."

She smiled even more as she said, "Okay." She felt like crying again. She never expected this - she had a lot to thank those two.

She took his hand and Kanda was inwardly startled. But he let her lead him up to the rooftops, Allen triumphantly saying, "You called me 'Allen', Yuu!". She let go and walked backwards up the stairs, laughing.

"That's the last time I'd do that, moyashi."

As Allen retorted back, her stomach growled with record-breaking intensity. Kanda, relieved that everything was back to normal, waved off her pleads to magically produce food from nowhere, but eventually gave in and went back with some left-over food from the stalls.

* * *

They did not know (or maybe pretended not to) that they were both afraid of being honest to their selves. Afraid of having the gap of them widen, if the feeling wasn't mutual. Afraid of the consequences, should it prove so. Afraid of the greater pain it would inflict if one of them left.

Kanda - he should have been a little more bolder. He was going to leave again, he knew, and he did everything to prolong the time they were there, the moyashi pointing a constellation, asking him if he knew it.

What's love, indeed, without a bit of pain? You can never avoid it forever.

**A/N: Please review! :D **


	8. CoT 07: I've Always Hated You

**A/N: I'm too tired to put up an author's note.. so yeah. I think I'll let you continue reading.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM. Not even Road Camelot's adorable song.**

* * *

_"The Millenium Earl is searching_

_For his precious heart_

_I guess I was not it._

_Who ever will be next?"_

Allen watched in horror as the video played.

_"The Millenium Earl is searching for his precious heart."_

The man being shown closed his eye. Relaying that twisted message had been General Kevin Yeegar's final act after succumbing to the mental torture Road had inflicted on him.

_"The Millenium Earl is searching_

_For his precious heart_

_Let us go check to see_

_If you are it ~ "_

The song played in her mind as if it were yesterday. It was a song they loved to sing when they played hide-and-seek.

* * *

**CoT 07: "I've Always Hated You"**_ "What is hate? Can you give an absolute definition of it? Some say it is the absence of love, but it is not always so."  
_

* * *

"I know you're fascinated by each other at this point, but you must have been glaring each other's eyes off for an hour already."

Allen seems to not have forgiven Kanda yet. _Fooling me for those last few months, that bastard. With me thinking that he was recovering a nasty bout of amnesia on top of it all. And I even told him he was bad at acting when we were young._

And Kanda... Kanda just didn't want to be friendly. _Believing that stupid song, dammit._

What had happened a few nights ago might very well just be a dream. False truce, haha.

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!"

Lenalee and Lavi watched as Allen's usual cheery self bounded towards the door.

"Package for Ms. Walker. Please sign."

She scribbled some incomprehensible name on his clipboard and the mailman was off.

_No return address..._

She opened the box and saw -

(_No,_ she internally whimpered looking at the content.)

- Such familiar envelopes: Credit card notices with debts pushing the limit.

"CROSS!"

* * *

"Don't worry. We'll help you pay them - one way or the other." Lenalee rubbed Allen's back comfortingly as she wept bitterly. Somehow, Lenalee was relieved that Cross was still alive, no matter how drastic the effect a sign of life from him had caused.

"No. I don't want you to help me pay the bills. I want you to help me find him so I could strangle him until I twist his neck off."

"Now, now, you don't mean that."

Allen wasn't listening. "If only we weren't so busy packing, and if only I had enough starter's money, I could - Wait... Lavi I remembered something."

"What is it, Allen?" He had taken out some food to comfort the moyashi.

"I have a card missing. Could you have seen it by chance? You returned the rest of the deck to me a while back and told me that it fell from my coat pocket. Maybe you saw a card that strayed but didn't bother to pick it up or I don't know... " _Why would Tyki even give me a pack of cards randomly?_

"Erm..."

"Well?"

Lavi fiddled with his fingers, "Uhm..."

"Yes?"

"I don't think you'd like to see it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's already torn into pieces."

Lavi gulped at his mistake. What he said directly translated to: _Desecration to the highest degree._

"WHAT?! You tore it into pieces?!"

"No, I didn't mean that!" Lavi shriveled under Allen's leer: _I'm not falling for your stories again. _He felt like crying,"I really didn't!" As a matter of fact, he thought he would a while ago - the time the Yeegar video patched through. He saw how Allen paled at the sight.

"Why are you hiding it?"

"You see..."

"No, I don't!" she snapped. "Hand me the card now!"

"I can't, I've already thrown it away!" But his voice indicated otherwise. He was doubtful of his decision to hide the card from Allen.

"Don't lie to me."

Lavi let out a breath. "You sure?"

She nodded curtly.

"I'll show you."

* * *

"There."

The card was hidden in his very own Christmas present, the book with a hollow compartment in the middle.

Allen lifted it up and put them together on her palm. It really was her missing joker. She turned it, face down, and read what was written with a red felt tip marker on its back.

She felt dizzy. The pieces crumpled in her grip as she stumbled out of Lavi's room like it was being filled with noxious gas.

"Allen?" He held her by the arm.

"Could you leave me alone for a second?" she mumbled, shaking him away. She was barely aware of striding as fast as she could towards her own room.

She breathed heavily as she locked the door and stayed by its back.

She tore it vindictively into fourths and threw the pieces at the wastebasket, along with the whole deck, and went back down as if nothing happened.

Her vision, however, was still obscured by darkness.

_When we meet,_

_You can't retreat._

* * *

"You're being called to Barcelona. Lots of Akuma sighting. It's becoming eerie here."

It was a short message delivered a day before the stargazing, right after he had managed sending the report. Daisya Barry, one of his teammates, had already been sent there and the people were frightened because a few local news agencies broke their word and have been broadcasting the amateur videos of those who lived on its outskirts.

Needless to say, the situation was turning bad. There were talks of evacuation.

The question was, "Safety or secrecy?" The way it looks, HQ was leaning to the former, Central tilting to the latter.

"Once we finish our mission, Kanda might be able to fix the papers for his relocation to HQ."

He heard Lenalee telling Allen the things that they would do when they travel to China, as they were tidying up the house for its non-existent next owner. The "For Sale" sign may hang there at the gate forever and it still would not be sold for there was nobody to sell it.

"We'll look for Cross - though judging by the date of the bills he sent, he seems very much alive in this country and not with the Akuma remains at his ship's route, but we'll go check anyway... and we've been assigned an additional mission to go look for Suman Dark," Lenalee worriedly added. "He seems to be missing for a few weeks now, so they've reassigned the task for finding him to us, just this morning." The Chinese girl took a moment to say, "His squad mates have all been found floating in a lake with some of their organs missing. Nobody could tell how it was done but then... that Noah probably got them."

A sharp inhale then a long pause.

"...For a moment, I thought we were going to have moment of peace," Allen shook her head, stacking a box up the wall.

_If only she knew_, Kanda thought_._

* * *

She was going to miss Japan - it was the only place she'd stayed where people didn't stare funnily at her for wearing the Order's uniform. She looked at the bare rooms for a while as she sipped at her remaining juice. She couldn't sleep now - it was their last night here after all. She grabbed a "last" packet of cookies.

There was something forlorn about the way she didn't get her midnight snack from the bountiful supply in the refrigerator but from the small pile on the dining table...

She sat on the couch.

And there was something else, too.

It must be the way this simple stay had brought her to realize that a lot has changed.

This house was going to be like her old home back in Edogawa.

The kind people she thought she had loved would take on those twisted lives.

And a person she thought was forever going to be detached and unemotional could actually give such a warm and beautiful smile.

_What the_ - _warm and beautiful?!_ She almost spat her juice and gagged.

"Bleckhhh," Allen muttered to herself, "Don't ever think like that again. That gave me goosebumps."

Timcanpy squeezed in the mail slot, ricocheted, and hit Allen in the face. A timely reminder for her wandering mind.

Tim bared its fangs and began to project a video showing Kanda packing away his possessions taken from his window, ending with the said person noticing and Tim having to leave.

Allen looked amusedly at her golem, rubbing her nose. "Aaaannd, I'm supposed to find this interesting, shouldn't I? So what if he's a bit late on organizing his things?"

Tim closed its mouth and did everything in its limited scope of gestures to depict disapproval.

"Okaaayyy, maybe you can focus on what I'm supposed to see so I'd know what you're talking about."

The golden ball cut to a certain point in the clip and paused it, zooming in on a piece of paper that looked like a ticket - an airline ticket. Allen could make out a slightly pixelated logo of JAL.

_That's not right..._

Catching her expression, Tim drooped slightly as he shut the picture down.

"Keeping secrets from me and lying _again_, so I won't be hurt." She looked at the not-so-little golem, with little tears forming on his "face", as if worried he had done the wrong thing. "Don't worry, Tim, I'm fine, you didn't do anything wrong."

Well, at least she knew where some of that strange, heavy intuition came from know.

_And at the very least, he'd be able to take some memories with him, too._ The frame Timcanpy showed had Kanda looking at a picture. It was a picture taken before he left HQ. She knew that it had everybody from HQ headquarters at the time and her 8-year-old self pulling on Kanda's hand so he couldn't escape from the camera.

"So, it's okay," she comforted herself. She sank in the couch even more like she was deflating. She brought herself up and forced a reassuring smile at Tim as she returned to her room, hugging him like a mini plushie, wondering what she wanted to do._  
_

_Guess, it's all__ just__ part of the job description._

She didn't sigh, and instead, let her mind rest on an object she kept hidden for a long, long time. It was a memento from Road and the others - she just couldn't bring herself to dispose of it.

She decided to get the gun.

* * *

Allen lay listlessly on her bed, hearing the low and distant rumbles of thunder and the soft _pitter-patter_ of rain on the roof in the wee hours of the morning.

As soon as she had found the gun, she checked the bullets and returned it back to where she found it, thinking that everything was making her brain turn into mush. _What did I think I would do with it? _She rolled her eyes.

She was just thinking how big an idiot she was becoming, when he heard the creak of a door opening.

She became frozen at once, _I can't do anything, but it feels so wrong not to do something._

She quickly pursued him, retrieving the pistol after a second thought.

"Kanda!" The rain drizzled on her as she made her way out of the house.

Kanda looked at her, like the way he did before, but he didn't wait for her to catch up anymore. He opened the gate, carrying his suitcase and sword, and quickly went in the cab he called. He shut the door.

Allen banged furiously on his window as he told the driver to go on and drive him to the airport.

"KANDA!"

"Escaping your girlfriend?" The twinkling eyes of the taxi driver looked at Kanda from his rear view mirror.

"Che. Just hurry on."

The man didn't bother with his passenger's disrespect. He knew a relationship could bring lots of stress on people. "I've seen a few circumstances just like yours now. Sure you don't want to stop first and try to make amends? I'll wait."

"If you don't hurry up, I'll be late for my flight. If I have to pay thrice the fare to get there now, I'll do it. Drive and stop meddling." Kanda made sure that his tone made it clear that he would do everything to get away.

With the angered look of his passenger, the driver just shook his head and pressed his foot the pedal. _Wrong way to start the morning._

* * *

"KANDA!"

Allen roared angrily as the car pulled slowly away from her. She followed it at a jog, extracting the snub-nosed revolver, cocking the hammer until it found a loaded chamber. Cross, at least was able to tell her the basics of gun-handling. Just as it was about to turn, she aimed and pressed the trigger.

A large explosion sounded as its rear left tire deflated.

Kanda and the driver turned around to see Allen tucking the revolver in her belt as the driver cursed, bewildered why anyone would shoot his cab. He went out to confront the moyashi, shaking from anger. The driver got out and looked unbelievingly at his tire, the bullet, and that strange looking girl.

He heard himself shout out, "What about my car?!"

He saw the long-haired man gesture to himself and he felt himself calm down.

For a moment, he gaped at the two and lurched as if to chase after his passenger to make sure, but thought it best to let them sort it out and took out an extra tire from the trunk.

_That was the closest thing in my forty years as a cab driver to "life-threatening". But then the term has been always synonymous to love. I should know - I have a wife.  
_

* * *

This was turning into a replay of the night before.

She walked slowly back to their house, shoulders hunched, fists so tightly clenched that her nails were cutting into her palm. He gripped her shoulder and found out she was shaking.

She shook him off, regretting what she had done. "I think I've done enough for now. Sorry. I wasn't thinking. I'll just chuck the payment for the damage from the window." Her low voice was trembling as she moved to close the gate behind her.

He stopped her and angrily shouted, "What did you do that for?!"

She had almost no strength to fight back, but she said with just as much anger, "You ask me what I did that for? Ask yourself! What are you doing this for?" She pushed at him roughly out of the way and went back outside to confront him. "Why can't you ever say to my face that you're leaving?"

And when nothing but a strong wind replied, she merely said, "You always leave me in the cold."

He didn't answer. He couldn't. He did not know what to say.

"Is that the best you can do to the people around you?"

She could feel tears burning her eyes from indignation, but she didn't let them fall. "Do you know how that feels? To see people leaving you without telling you why? I've known from the day I was born how that feels!"

She furiously swung her left fist at the gate where it imprinted a large, deep dent. She continued, turning livid, "Do you think that you would make it better this way? Didn't you see how happy I was to see you that day you came here? Are you completely blind? Did you know how hurt I was when you left? Of course you don't. You don't even know what hurt is! Do you? When you thought a _person _would trust you enough to know that you can handle everything he'd say, and didn't."

She looked him in the eye. "You're a coward. You can't even say goodbye. When we were young, I didn't think anything of it. I thought better of you. But now, it's all clear to me. You don't have the guts to rely on others! And before, I didn't have the guts to tell you this - I've always hated you. For everything."

For a split second, she was shocked by what she said. She looked for some sign of anger on his face, anything to keep her going, and found none. Only stun from the brunt of her words.

She lost whatever resentment she had towards him. "If you're just going to stand there, you shouldn't go chasing after people. You're just wasting everybody else's time."

She lowered her head in resignation, and as she steered clear from him, she apologized, her eyes shining brightly, "Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I... didn't mean to be rude and rant, and I didn't mean anything I said, either - I take all of it back. I just don't want to make the same mistake... again. Of letting you go without giving you a word of my own. Just - just go on before you get late because of me. And..."

She breathed then uttered a soft "Take care."

Impulsively, he reached out to make her face him and embraced the moyashi, gently. Somehow, he paused before hugging her, thinking he should do something more, but it was all he could think of now. He felt her exhale but there was no more shaking nor any sobbing like last time. They were both still and they remained that way for some time until he said, "I will. And I'm sorry, too. But I still won't say goodbye, _moyashi_."

She withdrew away from the embrace and looked at him disbelievingly.

He squeezed her hand as he rounded to return to the cab. "I prefer to say, 'till we meet again'."

Letting out a long breath, she gazed strangely at him. "Till we meet again then. But you better make it quick, _BaKanda_. Or else, nothing you would ever say will make me understand."

As he went, he raised his hand to say he understood and was greeted by the cab driver, metres away, asking him how it went. He told the driver to mind his own business, knowing full well that he didn't ask anything about the gun.

When he went on his way and she started to go on hers, she gave a sad little smile. Now, however, she was back on their muddy front yard, at the doorstep, and found herself looking at the sky yet again. The clouds had already parted just as they had. Though she smiled up at the pale gray marred with the very faint gold of sunlight, she let her tears fall, now that the other's back was turned, and knew that she still hated him.

* * *

Allen was dozing. Lavi and Lenalee knew that she was upset at the both of them. The sun was high overhead and the ship was on it's journey to China, retracing the route Marian Cross had taken, just to make sure that he wasn't with the floating akuma remains somewhere in the middle of the sea.

"She'd feel better when she wakes," Lavi thought out loud, though he was wondering whether they would ever see Kanda again.

"Yeah," answered Lenalee, quietly. All of them have no choice but to be. Otherwise, they wouldn't live. They can't let themselves be gobbled up by the own petty misfortunes of their life. They had to be strong enough to brave everything thrown at them, even if it means facing them alone. You use everything and everybody's sake just to force yourself to survive. You don't have the time to worry much about anything, anyone, even their selves. That was the very nature of the job of an Exorcist. And they can't escape that.

Lenalee looked at the dazzling, rippling water below. _We just can't._

* * *

**A/N: (07/01/13) I've realized I haven't written an ending author's note for this and I've had one thing in my head while re-reading this chapter: _*Emotions! :/ _I noticed that I haven't written the chapter elaborately as you probably would have liked it. (Maybe, that's why nobody reviewed for this chapter. ;^;)But I really felt numb writing it. Haven't you felt that, too, when you're so overloaded with emotions? Well, anyway, the following songs are what inspired me here: the piano version of Regret on YT (original by Mai Hoshimura) and Sayonara Memories (by Supercell). I also like Nothing in the Morning by Gumi (made by Kemu, whose Pandora Voxx album is awesome!) for this chapter, even if I don't know what it means.  
**

**Oh and I updated this to add this note so I could let you know that I am already working on the next few chapters (It would take only a while) and that I might or might not be skipping the Ark Arc. (Please tell me what I should do, seeing as it might be overlong and repetitive but would make good Yullen material.)**

**Please review, readers! :)**

**And thanks for the constant hits even if I have always been away,**

**~Max Kiel**


	9. CoT 08-11

**THIS IS NOT AN OFFICIAL CHAPTER! IF YOU WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER YOU'RE FREE TO GO SKIP THERE!**

**A/N: Hi guys! Sorry if I just capslocked all of you there. I've decided to skip the Ark Arc. There were just a few differences but, hey, I could just flashback somewhere in the next chapters, no? Anyway, this is just this draft sample I had been working on when some common sense took pity on me and slapped me awake to tell me I was just writing the same thing over again. So yeah. It was fun though, but not worth making you wait. (See? I care. It's just my schedule and my considerable distance to and from the university that's holding me back.)**

**If you just want some trivia or just plain crack (and not-so-crack) theories that I just suddenly thought of, you may go at the bottom at the next bold type.**

* * *

Smoke was clearing, debris had stopped raining, but the fires were still blazing.

He raised his eyes at the spectre before him - a shadow of his team mate Daisya Barry.

There was a tinkle of metal as he stepped towards the body. The keychain fell from his pocket like a dire warning not to go any further. He che'd at it as he picked it up and turned his back on a corpse of a good friend, on to finish this crisis and continue life as it is.

* * *

CoT 08: To Leave A Comrade Behind _"The greatest decisions are usually not comprised of your own concerns but of the fate of others."_

* * *

Allen put up a hand to shield her eyes and squinted into the afternoon horizon. _Nothing. _The weather the past few days was fine as could be and they were able to search for Cross without snags. There was no sign of that damn bastard except, of course, the dead akuma they were told of. And the added debts.

_The debts! No... all my savings...! Gone! Wasted!  
_

As they had drawn away from the Japanese waters she felt as if a finger was beckoning her towards a place far from the answers she had never admitted she wanted to know, and felt that she will have to return to it sooner or later.

Currently, they were heading towards the shores of a Chinese city, while Kanda would probably be in Barcelona by now. She wondered how they were going to cover up that large of an attack - she never knew what exactly the Order's "PRs" did. Everybody knew about regulating the internet. She heard whispers of the practice of bribery and blackmail... and the rumors of slipping in "memory-correcting" drugs on the people who directly see the akuma. But, she never believed them. Anyway, that would probably illegal.

_Then where did I get that fear about Kanda having amnesia...?_

It took her a while to realize that that Lavi was hollering out her name, or rather, shouting, "Dinner's ready!"

"Coming!"

She took a moment to study the glowing red sphere that was the setting sun, then ran off to dining area.

_Sometimes_, she thought, _I just think there were things I was forgetting myself._

* * *

When they arrived at harbor, they were greeted by Anita, a wealthy supporter of the Order, and her guard, Mahoja with warm welcomes (Though Allen, at first, made the sorry mistake of mistaking Mahoja for a really muscular man). How was she supposed to know anyway? She's bald. This incident instilled deeper into her the lesson that you must always look at the chest area first before deciding on the gender. _Look at Kanda for goodness' sake, his hair is styled like some of those anime girls in Japan._

They then took off on a very slow and very rocky journey on a Jeep towards a small, remote town where Suman Dark had last reported to the Order.

Too soon, they eventually had to go on foot because of the loud blast of light issued into the night sky, the source of which, however distant, was visible especially to Lenalee's eyes.

It was a Fallen and there left little doubt who it was.

* * *

_Suman Dark was a proud father of a little girl. However, her daughter had a sickness, the cure of which was only offered to the rich._

_When the Order came, it felt both a wonderful dream and a terrible nightmare - for they were offering him a job as an "Exorcist" in exchange for his daughter's good health._

_And no matter how he wanted to be by Alicia's side, he had no option left to him but to accept._

_However, he wanted to see her once more and so, he betrayed the Innocence that had chosen him._

* * *

"No." She clutched at her head, trying to sustain the horrible memories of those blank, soulless eyes, those bodies reduced to hollow containers, most of them unwilling to fuse with the Innocence they were forced on. "NO!"

A hand rested on her shoulder. "Come on. We've got to help him." Allen felt for Dark, even though she had never met him personally and had only heard stories of him. He reminded her of Mana, a person who would do anything for her.

* * *

.

* * *

_The happiness of being slightly normal exchange students had evaporated on the spot as she saw the towering figure that was Suman Dark. Her sick daughter would never know that her father will not be able to come back, that his remains were now tucked in the crematorium along with 142 finders and two of his comrades. Johnny had come to her yesterday in the cafeteria thanking her for trying to save his 'chessmate' and friend, crying as he sped away afterwards._

_Tyki had seen to that. The clammy white body of Dark bursting from the inside with hundreds of his butterflies. And then, he used one of the Tease to kill her, lying on the ground with no strength left after breaking the critical point of her Innocence._

_However..._

_She had not died. She was saved by her defunct Innocence and by Fou, the techno guardian-deity of the Asian Branch._

_Having heard the news that she was alive, Akuma were sent to raid the place forcing her to synchronize, and even through the many failed attempts to do so, succeeded in the end. It changed its form from a gigantic arm to a slender claw that could detach at will to become a sword and cape._

_She arrived at Edogawa just in time to save Lenalee who with Lavi, Miranda Lotto, Aleister Crowley and Bookman had went back to Japan as soon as they heard news of the planned download of the Ark. __The Tiedoll unit was there too amidst the death of Daisya Barry in Barcelona. _

_The Earl unleashed his power, generating a quake that sent a tsunami, killing thousands and sending off a city in nuclear peril._

* * *

**^ And that was my boring synopsis of the Dark Arc.**

* * *

**Theories**

**Ever wondered why Yullen is such a popular pairing?**

Well, it's mainly because they're like yin and yang.

Another try.

Kanda's a Second Exorcist, Allen's the Fourteenth Noah. Together, they make 2/14 or February 14th - Valentine's Day.

A more far fetched theory.

According to an interview, Hoshino Katsura said that Allen's image-colors are purple and emerald; the common factor of those two colors is blue, which is Kanda's image-color. Tyki's image-color is also blue but lighter, which makes it a quite a tight competition. Who will win the love of our adorable moyashi? It depends on the fandom.

_(How did I ever think of this.)_

**Then why are there Laven fanfics out there, too?**

Isn't it obvious? It's because they have matching mysterious eyes. (Lavi's right, Allen's left) Two makes one.

**Now, why is there some sort of chemistry between Lavi and Lenalee? Is it because Komui approves of Lavi?!**

Kanda calls Lavi an usagi or rabbit. On Komui's mug there is a rabbit named Yoshi. Is Komui sending secret messages to his darling Lenalee? We may never know.

**And no, KanLena just doesn't appeal to me...**

They're just both Asian. And for the time being, Hoshino-san made them the only characters to have acquired crystal Innocence.

**About the title, -Man, has it ever occurred to you that there was another meaning aside from "Man is a doll of black and white"?**

Well for me there is, it stared at me in the face right after I wrote the next chapter. Think of the Walker trio: Mana, Allen, Neah - M.A.N.

(_So,_ does this make me a conspiracy theorist?)

**On the "three-story fall" in Chapter 3, well it is indeed one. It's divided in my conscious as three stories:**

CoT I: Shades of Gray

CoT II: Crimson Red

CoT III: White

(The first story ends at Chapter 11)

**I was just wondering,**

Can anybody here say "Ark Arc" without feeling tongue-tied?

**Also, expect a lot of twists from hereon forward.**

When I got terribly sick this week (mainly because of the fact that I forced myself to go to school for exams), I just got machined-gunned with story ideas which made me even worse cause I just wanted to sleep. I probably won't use all the ideas though but they fired me up with thrill.

**I feel bad for not mentioning my supposed chapter names so here they are: (I already feel that 08's crying right now because I didn't finish it.)  
**

CoT 09: Roots Keep the Tree Together

CoT 10: The Puzzle Piece I Always Lose

_(Subdivided into: A Challenge That No One May Reject, Playful Gesture, and Dinner With Her Family)_

CoT 11: Reunion and Inevitable Departure

**If I remember correctly, the Dark, China, and Ark Arc took up almost half the anime, so I think I made the right decision not to waste anybody else's time here.**

Though I think I already wasted mine. ._.

**Now that I come to think of it, I think I also made a mistake...**

Where I used "katana" for Mugen's early form instead of "chokuto". (I didn't get technical and back-edit - They're both swords anyway.)

**I have other trivia and theories but... **

Either I don't remember them at the moment.

Or some of my theories will be used here in this fic.

_(I'll be putting a few at some chapters.)_

**Things like...  
**

The history of Cross Marian's current name

Leverrier's family background

Origin of the Noah (Only for the fic - Remember, this is a parallel scientific reimagining of some sort.)

From where did Apocryphos come from?

The Heart and the Cube

Where are the the Great Generals

Will I kill off people mercilessly?

And the greatest question of all:

Will I ever to get to the ending? T_T I'm taking so long.

**Okay! That's all! Go on and read the next chapter! :D**

**P.S. If you want, you may post questions, suggestions, violent (and also non-violent) reactions in the reviews or PM me (whichever you prefer).**


	10. CoT 12: Payment for A Debt

**A/N: I guess this fic's title is fitting, huh? How soon is soon, indeed? Sorry for the ultra-late chapter, folks, I got sick. :( Poor Allen, I've decided to direct my anger at her. Haha! Fluff again but more plot. As I've said, this chapter is set after the Ark Arc (which I've coincided with the Japan tsunami a few years ago). And I hate the fact that I tell you all that a next chapter would be up soon when it takes me weeks/months.**

**And why isn't the 219th Night out yet? :( (Okay... I'm a hypocrite.)  
**

**Canon in D was what inspired me here. Originally**** by Pachelbel, but I listen to Lee Galloway's version. This was one of the first scenes that I constructed in my head when building this fic some two (more or less) years ago.**

**Warning: Allen here might be somewhat "woman-ish" here (slightly) in behavior. But that's probably because of worry and whatnot.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own DGM nor any of the songs that inspired me. And the "multilingual cheers" of Lavi and Lenalee are just Google-Translated so I don't know if they're grammatically correct.**

**On with our story!**

* * *

**CoT II: Crimson Red**

* * *

_A year ago..._

_"Why have you sent Walker to that place? You know that you have put her in the most ideal condition to awaken. Do you want her to be tempted to reunite with the Noah?" They were calculating, probing questions._

_"I have no such intention. I trust the girl to do what is right and prudent of her job."_

_Silence._

_Komui continued, "You have long since suspected Allen Walker then?" Looking at the three files he had just obtained just after having sent Allen, Lavi and Lenalee to Japan, the HQ Supervisor could very well see that this was no laughing matter._

_Central Commander Leverrier answered, "Yes, and I suggest that if you want to protect her status as an Exorcist, you ensure that she doesn't betray us all."_

_Komui hated Leverrier, the man who put his sister in this place, and he knew he would have to do everything not to put any Exorcist in any graver danger. He looked at one of the files again and read the red heartless statement printed after the word "Status:"  
_

_"Of course, I will see to it that she would not be a liability."_

* * *

_Time Record went out. _

_After all the happiness of reuniting with her home, pain was setting in from the battle damage they had incurred. _

_However, Allen could not help but notice that he had left again just as everything gave way to blackness..._

* * *

_"Komui, that's all I know," he stated firmly and somehow angrily. "Don't ask me to verify my report's authenticity again. I'll just repeat myself. How can I know everything? It's common knowledge that we're not on best terms."  
_

_Komui sighed. "I understand. I... have put you in a difficult situation. You may go to the infirmary for treatment and rest."_

_He snorted as he left, "Che. Who needs rest?"_

* * *

**CoT 12: Payment for A Debt** _"Just as debts have different forms, so do their payments."_

* * *

As the gentle spring-summer breeze blew at her face, she looked down from the balcony of the wooden residential halls, occasionally and moodily taking a bite of her food. It felt good, somehow - she had spent most of her first day back in the Ark, thinking of what would happen now that everybody knew. She had decided, however, to get some air, to take up post here just to see when he would actually arrive, if ever. They couldn't have sent him on a mission immediately. It's idiotic! It was possible it was just pride - avoiding getting pent up under the nurse's care like the others. _Moron. If I wasn't there, he most probably wouldn't even be able to lift open an eyelid now._

She breathed in a wave of heat. The weather was so calm and comforting, so warm - such a stark contrast to the sudden, dangerous, jeering cards fate has dealt them a fortnight ago. The words echoed in her head like the casualty reports they have been read, images flicking through her mind like switching TV channels.

_Gen. Kevin Yeegar..._

_Suman Dark... _

_Kazanna Reed... Chakar Rabon..._

_Tina Spark... Gwen Furrel... Scol Gellen..._

___Tyki, you killed those Exorcists... You have human friends!_ But, she doubted if he would remember. The Noah inside of him was awakened. By her, nonetheless.

_Daisya Barry... __142 finders... _

_Anita... Mahoja... Their crewmates_

It would matter not whether they had ties to the outside; none of their loved ones will know - they would all be cremated and tucked in urns with only numbers for identification to prevent them from turning into Akuma. A hundred eighty or so difference wasn't going to make up, however, for the two thousand bodies that washed up on the Japanese shores, following the explosion of the Earl's fury. Furthermore, the shockwave affected nuclear plants, causing people to be quarantined for possible radiation contamination.

All the choices and measures they were taking all seemed to be harsh but necessary to compensate for their ignorant blunders and limiting incapabilities on the battlefield.

Apparently, she had also needed to reveal that she held the memories of the Fourteenth to save the lives of the remaining despite the consequences in store for her.

She thought of those she probably have not been able to save were it not for her affiliations and for Cross' extensive knowledge of the Ark and of her history. _I did not even know that I could wish specifically - I had always taken the piano for a portal key, nothing more._

Visions of dead comrades filled her for a moment and she shook her head violently. _We're here, alive, and that's what matters._ _There are far more important things at hand..._

She had almost died herself, too. She remembered that cold, weak, vulnerable feeling that seeped in her at the thought she had lost her Innocence completely. Even when she was supposed to be happy just to be alive, she hadn't, because her old fears crept back at the absence of her weapon, her ID.

_Who am I really?_

_I'm an Exorcist, aren't I?_

_Really?_

_Why then? _

_Why the dreams? _

_The conflicting memories? _

_Those stories? _

_Your father dead? _

_A shadow on the mirror? _

_That gun?_

_Why do you know things, you shouldn't?_

_Not your imagination is it?_

_Not made up, eh?_

_Then, it's all real!_

_You just don't want to admit it!_

She clutched at her head - flashes and torrents of thought came pelting to her like bullets from a gattling gun. _Stop it. Stop! STOP!  
_

She told herself to draw up an imaginary blank slate in her mind. She breathed heavily.

She doubted herself, and the others now. Cross most especially. There are things she wanted to ask that womanizing drunkard. _If only Timcanpy could talk..._

_Things were... not always what they seem._ Pangs of doubt were ebbing constantly throughout her that it became unbearable to stay in the ringing silence of the Ark - the air felt unbreathable there and made her neck prickle with uneasiness and uncertainty.

Looking towards the west, she saw a commotion. _H__e's actually here already. Good! _She frowned. _ Or not._

_That bastard's trying to escape from the infirmary._ His figure was closely followed by two others.

She fumed and tried to distract her thoughts to more mundane things and noticed a black Order-issued car park below. _Probably another one of those people placed here to watch me. _she thought bitterly.

But then, the thought made her stab at the dango with such vindication that its large bowl was nudged from the narrow ledge it was perched precariously upon and fell with a clatter on to the roof below. She climbed down to retrieve it, thinking about the wasted food.

She almost slipped when she heard the increasing volume and saw him running past, slowing for a moment. It was the first time they had come face to face since they got out from the Ark.

Time paused and then...

He just went along his way as if he didn't notice anyone, especially the girl standing on the roof, the cracked bowl she was holding slowly dripping syrup slowly onto her foot.

Her eyes narrowed down to the man running away from her once again, being pursued by Marie and Tiedoll.

_I told you I __wouldn't__ take the silent treatment from you again._

She followed suit, clambering back up the terrace back with the bowl but without thinking. Then, she ran pell-mell down the stairs towards where he would soon be passing. Catching the slightest view of him, she uttered a loud war cry and threw the bowl straight at his head.

"STOP RUNNING, DAMMIT, and go back to the infirmary!"

A loud clunk told her she hit him nice and solid and that the force cleaved both the bowl and his skull cleanly. Satisfied, she turned her back firmly at him amid, his initial curses of pain and the now shouts of protest, and led their way towards the Infirmary.

She muttered under her breath, though it was carried by the wind to the people following her trail through the field.

"Completely inconsiderate, ungrateful - as if I didn't save his life, as if he didn't tell me he'd be back soon. And now, he bloody ignores me just as I thought he had a 'surprise extension' of his vacation."

To this, he audibly grumbled through gritted teeth, "It. Was. Just. One. Day."

She couldn't stand it. She turned to face him with a raised eyebrow neglecting the presence of a General and a senior Exorcist.

Allen Walker drew herself to the fullest height she could muster and virtually nose-to-nose with him, sweetly replied, "Oh right. You just decide you don't want to celebrate that we're all alive and disappear to some place right after we got back, eh? What about the Ark? How much time was returning to us after you've defeated your opponent supposed to take, I wonder?"

Kanda at first lost track of what she was talking about, thinking she was angry because he disappeared again. Then he realized that he almost "died" in the Ark. _Che. __Worrying again_. _From what I'm hearing, it's me who should worrying. _He frowned_. Always getting worked up, moyashi._

"I was beat to death, beansprout! _Stop_ complaining."

She snorted, "Yuu Kanda? The tough guy even with a blade sticking through his stomach? I don't think so." She mocked up a 'thinking pose', saying, "Let me think... How long does it take to get to us? Enough that you wouldn't be able to get through that door and follow?" Her tone positively dripped with sarcasm. "Where were you? Stuck in a rewinding town in Germany?"

_What the fuck? Like defeating a Noah wasn't hard enough after being pierced from the inside repeatedly._ He felt like he could recoil from how 'woman'-ish the moyashi could act - gesture, voice and all - and the time he took to start up his excuse with an angry "You don't understand -" gave Allen the opportunity to cut him off again.

If he wasn't regretting giving her the cold shoulder before, he was certainly doing so now._ Looks like I've gone too far this time._ He had to inwardly give a roguish smile.

"You know, if you couldn't tell me anything beforehand, I don't see why you'd even bother afterwards," she commented sniffily and loftily, all the characteristics of _a lady_ who had been rudely disregarded. All the same, Allen thought that she did not want to know what happened, for she already burned with guilt at the thought of leaving her comrades alone to battle the Noah.

He almost breathed a sigh of relief as he sensed the finality in her tone, but as she resumed walking, declaiming why he was, in all ways, an idiot, something struck him. It was that odd, very odd, impulsive sensation he felt on that specific Christmas morning, and even on the rooftop during that Stargazing Festival. Those moments where she showed the most emotion always appealed and touched him when no one else could...

"Oi, Moyashi."

"What?" she snapped, consenting to stop, hands on her hips in the most un-Allenish sort of way her consciousness could ever allow.

He strode over to where she stood, not bothering to think straight...

Her arms dropping back to her sides, she wondered why he had that queer expression he sometimes had as he approached her. Somehow, she knew what would happen just before it did, and she could only let it.

He looked at her eyes, how beautiful and brilliant and bright they could look like, even when they were clouded with more than just a puzzled frown; they were moist, as he had already known a while ago.

"I always wondered..." he voiced quietly so that no one else would hear. Her lips were slightly glossed with sweet syrup, he saw as he became nearer and nearer, as he tilted her head and brushed his lips against hers.

The moment seemed to go on and on, even though it only lasted a second, the contact brief. It was chaste but it might as well have been otherwise for how she looked at him.

She could not deny, however, the tingling spark of electricity that ran through her at the touch and she felt robbed of her breath as her very first kiss was taken from her.

That was until she stumblingly backed away and her foot shot up instinctively to where it hurts a man most. It was now her turn to shout heatedly:

"What was that for?!"

He was in no state to respond with even the smallest bit of bravado instantly. Yuu Kanda stood up from the grass, panting, "To shut you up."

She spluttered incomprehensibly, "What the - ! That was my - Never mind that, you - "

Allen Walker had no other option than to look shocked and terrified rather than face the truth staring in front of her. She hurried away from them, already continuing her oratory, declaring the additional point of the immediate need of calling the Head Nurse so that he can have his addled brain checked.

It was obvious that she was blushing furiously because her nape was glowing red amidst the swinging mass of white ponytail.

_Well, I owed you, didn't I?_

He called out, "Allen!"

Said person turned, screaming, "It's A-" then she seemed to make sense of the fact that he called her properly this time and amended it with, "What now?!"

"You saved me didn't I? Well, I just wanted you to know that I already paid you back!" he said, smirking.

Allen glared at him and picked up a rock and hurled it at him. She was a shade of fiery red now. She dementedly shouted back, "I swear. I will kill you! I WILL!"

The stone grazed his cheek but_ that _didn't matter.

He could do no more than gaze at her amusedly as he followed her at a distance. Licking his lips, he was enlightened about how dango and beansprout taste together.

_I might just get used to sweets, after all._

* * *

Allen's thoughts frantically rebounded, short-circuiting in the hollows of her mind, empty except for the fact that -

_No! He didn't! _

_I'm just having a nightmare! _

_And when I wake up, everything will back to normal and Kanda will still be his usual grumpy, grouchy self! _

_Please, don't let it be true. _

_I feel like I'm dying... _

_For this to just happen... _

_Oh, why? I just wanted to get him to rest..._

_And why didn't you stop him... You could have..._

_Which means -_

_NOOO!_

She couldn't help but scream, in her feverish state,

"YOU IDIOT!" (IT was more for herself than to anybody else in particular.)

Head Nurse heard her crazed shout and immediately forced her to go to the infirmary for bed rest, exclaiming about hardheaded children who leave her care in just a day and come back with raging fevers soon after.

* * *

_And we all thought it was just going to be a typical petty squabble between them again._

Tiedoll, bringing up the rear, told Mari in an undertone, "Never knew he had it in him."

Mari smiled. "Too bad she kicked him though."

Tiedoll shook his head, awed at how his 'adorable' student could change so much, "The way things are going, I'm sure he'll be experiencing that a little more than often for a while."

When they noticed Kanda sneaking away, however awed they were by his recent actions, they put both their hands firmly on his back to push him, following the nurse.

* * *

_._

* * *

_"A huge tsunami washed upon the Eastern Japanese shores-"_

_"-thousands of bodies have been recovered-"_

_"-cause is unclear-"_

_'-people quarantined after absorbing radiation from the meltdown of the nuclear plant at-"_

_"-sightings of an unidentified heavenly body made by astronomers at this three sites are causing terrorized speculation-"_

_"-explosions felt in the surrounding areas at least 20 miles away-"_

_"Footage courtesy of - shows people in uniform fighting what appears to be an army of-"_

_"-hollowed bodies with similar appearances have also been found stranded on the port after a sunken ship crashed-"_

_"Meanwhile, in Barcelona, similar-"_

_"Breaking news! Shocking developments in China!"_

_"-an expert to discuss with us the strange calamities and sightings-"_

Komui turned off the television as Leverrier sat down.

"I fear that you have not contained the situation at all."

"It was inevitable. The world was bound to know soon."

"It is not the public crisis that I was referring to, Supervisor. They would never ever get close to the truth. Right now, Public Relations are redirecting the focus of the media to hold other agencies responsible and/or discredit witnesses."

The approach was cruel, but needed. Nothing was impossible when it comes to the Central Administration.

"What then is your reason for coming here?"

Leverrier sneered, "This." As on that eve a year ago, he produced papers, but it was only one file this time. "We have replaced the gist of her profile."

Komui looked at its contents. "I see," he stated grimly. _You have other sources._

"There will be a conference with the other branch heads and the Generals tomorrow about that matter. I just wanted to tip you off that I know a lot about what Cross has hinted you when that child first arrived here. You would be unwise to withhold any information."

"You very well know that I have only guessed and it was just by chance that it proved and confirmed true. What do you intend to do about this?"

"That is _none_ of your business... and even if it was," Leverrier stood up to leave and glanced at Komui, "you couldn't stop me. It is my job to protect the Vatican and nothing else. ___Iactura paucorm serva multos._ Remember that."

* * *

_"It's a crime, Master! It's a crime!"_ That was what she miserably shouted at the scene they thought they had encountered between Lenalee and Cross.

How was she supposed to know that it was literally true?

* * *

Komui exploded with anger at his office. He expressed a shocked countenance mixed with the way he had thought Allen to be as good as Lenalee's sister and the riveting meeting he just had with the Central Commander.

"Are you telling me you _sexually __harassed_ Allen here?! On your very first day back at HQ! I knew you when you were still a kid and to think you'd do this! You're not even denying what you did now!"

Allen stood up with fury before the accused one beside her could speak. "NO! I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T HARASSMENT! Why do people exaggerate things so much?! How did you even know this?!"

The Supervisor looked at her from over his glasses. "Be warned that there are a lot of eyes and ears here in the Order, whether you like them or not. The people of Central being physically here, I would appreciate it if you would behave more!"

It was followed by silence - both of them were thinking about their own respective golems. And what Komui was saying between the lines. _The strings of the marionettes are being tightened._ Kanda felt a prickling discomfort and he cursed himself for being impulsive. Idiot, indeed, was what he felt like now.

"Because of that, Kanda, you will be put under probation."

"Che. Like I even care about that," Kanda started, but Allen raised an objection.

"What are you saying?! Are you telling me that, that you'd do that just because he -" Allen took a large hesitant breath for a while, throwing Kanda a dirty look, then burst it out, "- he kissed me?! Are you mad?! You might as well have put him in custom detainment, like me!"

Kanda could only look the other way, heat rushing to his face. _Shit, I hadn't expected Moyashi to rush up so valiantly to my defense like this. _When they were called up to the Division Head's office he envisioned her feeding him to the sharks.

He didn't know she was doing this because she believed that people with mental illnesses aren't responsible for whatever they do.

"Well, it could have been, if the offense was worse." Komui answered, not feeling the skepticism of Allen's question. "Remember, this is a religious organization and such acts are to be properly controlled and disciplined. However, I might reduce the punishment if -" He looked curiously at Allen, then muttered, "But of course, that would be impossible... the very thought is ridiculous... I mean you two were mortal enemies since Day One..."

"What is it?" asked Kanda, impatiently. He, of course, did not want to be put on probation.

Komui thought that if he had to choose between Allen and Lenalee, it would, beyond doubt, be Lenalee, and he couldn't help but think that it would be _one man removed from the list of 'suitor suspects'_ if he could just affirm this growing suspicion.

"Well... if it was consensual... I -"

"CONSENSUAL?!" Allen imploded, enraged.

Komui clapped his hands, impervious to Allen's seething hate of an aura, and continued to mutter incessantly. "Yes, that might just work." He murmured to himself a bit more, scheming. "Yes, in the video... didn't seem like she had no time to push him away... Oh, yes..."

Allen closed her eyes and tilted her head to the sky, willing the forces of the earth to suck her down and never be seen again._ There's a video..._ Kanda just massaged his temples, feeling a headache coming on, though his hand also hid the smirk that was forcing its way to his face muscles, no matter how sorry he wanted to be.

"Well then, Allen, was it consensual? If it was a 'public display of affection', so to speak, he would be assigned to a lesser degree of discipline." His sudden revert to his professional tone startled Allen.

Allen lost for words, wanted to backtrack out of the argument, out of the room, away from the Science Division she knew was listening from the other side. She looked at Kanda for help, but he just swallowed and looked the other way, not wanting to have a say here.

Steaming, she replied irritably, "Okay, well, yes, just for the sake of this, I'll say, yes, I let him."

Her black thunder cloud of hate was intensified even more by the eruption of the multilingual cheers of Lavi and Lenalee (who both had magically teleported on the scene) to the rest of the eavesdropping scientists. "Long live the newlyweds! Wànsuì xīnhūn fūfù! Nagai shinkon fūfu o ikiru! Vive les mariés! Vivan los novios! Da zdravstvuyut molodozheny!" And on and on... The revelry could might as well be the announcement of the end of this war.

Drops of sweat were trickling down her in streams, from her hot embarrassment, her lost precious pride, her dire vow of revenge to the person beside her, her anger that _he_ had not lost any shred of dignity here, to everything and everyone else.

A big smile sparkled on Komui, "Perfect! Now that's settled, let's go on to both your respective punishments."

The room next to them suddenly fell silent. Clearly, nobody expected that.

"_Our?_" said Allen blankly, dropping back to her seat, already set to leave the dreaded place.

"Yes, Allen, you two will have to do a few menial jobs, like before."

"W-why?" she stammered. She hollowly choked out, "Having been downright humiliated wasn't enough?"

"Don't say that, Allen, a profession of love isn't embarrassing, it's natural. Unfortunately, it is banned here," Komui gave her an apologetic, big-brother smile, which she stonily didn't return, "and it seems only fair that since both of you were in it, both of you should do something to make up for what you've done."

Allen just gazed at the Head, dumbstruck, shaking her head, "I can't believe you, I really can't believe you."

She glared at Kanda, who once again failed to meet her eyes. She whispered, looking down at the paper-strewn floor angrily, "This is all your fault."

He shrugged, muttering back, "If you look back at what you said, not all of it's mine."

Allen gripped at the arms of her chair to prevent herself from hurting people, while Komui went on explaining their designated chores.

After he finished and they were about to leave, he said, "Kanda, if you would please stay... I'd like to have a word."

Allen glanced at him curiously but hastily went on her way as Cross came sauntering towards her, asking "What's this I hear about you?!"

Komui called out to her, "You might want to get back to the infirmary! The Head Nurse was very angry when you escaped!"

Allen looked only too happy to follow. Cross chased after her, stating wholeheartedly,

"I knew you weren't lesbian!"

* * *

"You are relieved of your duty to report about her."

He just stood where he was, his expression unclear. "Is it because of what happened?"

"Fortunately, no. They had no means, anyway, of knowing the exact extent of your relationship. Even I." Komui tried to inject some humor but Kanda didn't crack a smile. "Your effort last year to keep distance was really useless, though, seeing as you were in the company of a Bookman who knew you. Even if you had been here in HQ for only a few months and your stay wasn't recorded, he, at the very least, would have recognized you instantly."

Kanda sweatdropped. _Is this because of my hair?_

He continued, "Unfortunately, though, the reason is because they had come up with autonomous ways to extract information about our subject. I could only ask that you keep your interactions to a bare minimum if you do not want them resorting to force the truth out of you."

A vein twitched on Kanda's forehead. "I've told you before, I know nothing of importance about the sprout."

"I accept that what you say may be true..." He stressed his final point, "_But_ I'm also saying that other entities may not think so. They _may_ think that she has confided something not only with you, but with the others as well. Tread carefully especially as you are the most easily suspected, given your history."

"I do my best, Sister-Complex, but if you don't notice, it's the moyashi who keeps approaching me no matter how much I push away."

This time, Komui gave a genuine chuckle, tired though he may be. "Considering what you did a while ago, I should think not."

* * *

It was several days after that, organizing Komui's files as punishment, that three folders clipped together at the side caught her eye.

_Folders? I'd eat Tim if Komui ever used one._

By mistake, she slipped earlier, sending things scattering, and irritably putting the fallen papers back, had seen these files labeled "Walker, M.", "Walker, A.", and "Walker, N."

Out of curiosity on what they had to say about her, she opened the first and it was Neah's. _Of course._

She opened the second. It was her own. She was not surprised to see that it was fresh and crisp, updated to include that she was "suspect to heresy", "host to the Fourteenth Noah", etc. _Why bother reading something this thick? _She put it aside.

And when she opened the third...

_Who might this be?_

The world stopped for it contained the file of a person called "Mana Walker".

Even as she started reading it, the place was already crumbling around her.

And for a moment, she was seven years old again, shooting the person who had done his utmost best to destroy her life, who is still doing so until now.

* * *

**A/N: Well, that's an ominous ending. Expect a darker story which will be slightly more parallel to the DGM timeline than the previous one (which means more time skips and relatively shorter chapters). However, expect that the third story will not strictly follow the events in the manga.**

**Road may or may not have kissed Allen in the Ark. (But I prefer not.) When it comes to "first kisses", Hoshino-san is a troll. The worst part is that it also applies to another character. But you probably don't want to know... And I've warned you not to figure that out! *creepy threatening grimace***

**Also, I just want to point out that the last time Allen had close contact with Kanda, she had a nightmare. Just saying.**

**(And I want to tell you the reason why Kanda's hair is gorgeous even if he just uses soap.)**

**Do review! I don't care if it's criticism, I just wanna know how I can improve. (Please, I need you opinions. I miss having reviews... And writing on a desktop computer.****)**

**Thanks for reading!**

**~ Max Kiel**


	11. Hiatus

**Hi!**

**To every single one of those who read and liked this story, thank you!**

**However, CoT will be put on indefinite hiatus. (The same goes for my other stories as well.)**

**I guess that's how it really is - it's the regular updaters who always get attention. *pretend pained expression* Haha! But it's actually not about that. XD**

**It's just a heavy feeling when you're always kept from your "true loves" by other circumstances and you have to struggle to continue what you like doing.**

**Don't get me wrong... I love this story and I'm not saying that I'll leave it forever. I just need some time probably to keep a few chapters to myself, wait until the "hard times" are over, and then get rolling. But it'll be either until this Christmas vacation or maybe until summer vacation (a.k.a. the times when I can type in secret in the middle of the night and not feel feverish the day afterwards).**

**So, I'd like to put out a list of gratitude to those who showed their love and helped me gain some confidence: ^^**

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_**Who reviewed:**_

_**septemberlucas (I hope we can stay in touch!)**_

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**Again, thanks for everything! And sorry. Bye for now. And please pray that this break would not be permanent.  
**

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**Hoping you all the best,**

**Max Kiel**


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